Friday, June 8

Here we go then. After weeks of waiting, finally the action begins. Still, enough about the poker tournament in Andy Carroll's bedroom, apparently there's some football tournament going on as well.

Only joking. I managed to sneak away from the team hotel to attend the opening ceremony down in Warsaw. I watched most of it in my suit, but just as Michel Platini was about to hand over the trophy to the tournament organisers, I pulled on the full Chelsea kit, sprinted on to the pitch and did the job for him. Can't let a chance like that go to waste can you?

Saturday, June 9

Day off today in preparation for the France game, so we thought we'd follow the gaffer's instructions and act like good tourists. The only problem is the last time I was a tourist was when the Chelsea youth lads went on that 18-30 to Magaluf.

It all came flooding back though. Ashley spent most of the afternoon flinging plastic chairs around, Danny Welbeck spent the evening yelling, "Three beers por favor" at a waiter and young Jack Butland was sick in the pool. Brits abroad eh?

Sunday, June 10

Got myself into a bit of trouble today. We were having a bit of a cool down in the pool, so I thought it would be funny to start parading around in a pair of armbands.

Well, Stevie G hit the roof. "I'm the only one allowed to wear the armband now," he said, before running off to Gary Neville to start telling tales on me. Gary took his side and made me take them off. Good job I can swim.

Monday, June 11

Played in the France game - finished 0-0. Sorted things out early so that Joleon did all the running with Karim Benzema. That left me free to do a couple of heroic blocks just as the cameraman was getting me in the middle of the screen. Quality.

Raced off the pitch to make sure I was in pole position for the after-match interviews, but bloody ITV said they wanted Stevie G instead. Pretty sure that was Gary Neville's idea. I thought he was meant to hate Liverpool?

Tuesday, June 12

Rest day. Had a wander around the middle of Krakow for a couple of hours, but quickly realised it's not the same being at a tournament like this without Frank. Normally, he's always there with some witty banter and a McDonald's Happy Meal. Had to have Nando's instead.

Wednesday, June 13

Apparently there's been a big media barney about some of the lads staying out in a Krakow nightclub for too long the night after the France game. They were there until 5am apparently. Down on the King's Road, that's when the party's just starting.

Thankfully, I wasn't with them. Wasn't really in the mood for clubbing without Frank, so had an early night and watched a bit of Bergerac instead.

Thursday, June 14

Team meeting to sort out tactics for the Sweden game. The gaffer's very good at that side of things - he wants everyone to know what their jobs are and what they're doing.

"Easy one for you tomorrow JT," he said. "Just do what you're good at." Had to remind him they don't hand out trophies after just two games.

Friday, June 15

Second game against Sweden, and another draw. This time 1-1. Got myself on the scoresheet by knocking Andy Carroll out of the way to get a header from a corner, but collided into one of my own players at the other end as Ibrahimovich knocked in the equaliser.

Wasn't all bad though because the player I bumped into was Stevie G. He's touch and go for the Ukraine game apparently. I can almost feel that armband slipping back onto my top.

Saturday, June 16

Another rest day, filled with the traditional ping-pong tournament. Glen Johnson was favourite for most of it, but he lost out to Joe Hart in the final. Gary Neville got a load of laughs when he asked me to go up and present the trophy. Bloody nerve.

Sunday, June 17

Stevie G ruled out for the rest of the tournament - managed to put on a solemn expression as the cameras focused in on me in training, but had my fingers crossed behind my back so it doesn't count.

Monday, June 18

Got really excited when the gaffer called me over before heading off the captain's pre-match press conference. "I need you to do a big job for me today JT," he said. "You know me," I replied. "Always happy to help out for my country."

"Good lad. I need you to mind Wayne Rooney's suitcase because he's going to be coming to the stadium with me to talk to the press." Gutted.

Tuesday, June 19

I knew this would happen. Wazza was captain for 25 minutes before he got over-excited, hoofed Andriy Shevchenko in the backside and got a straight red card. What kind of a captain gets himself sent off for a stupid kick in one of the biggest games of his career?

Thankfully, Wazza had already scored two at that stage and we held on for a 2-1 win. We're through, but France won the group so we've got Spain in the quarter-finals. Mind you, that armband's back up for grabs...

Wednesday, June 20

Had a clear-the-air-talk with Gary Neville. Turns out he was getting annoyed with me because I've been calling him Phil. Bit of a surprise to learn they were two different people to be honest. I always thought Phil was just Gary's nickname and they were the same player. You learn something new every day.

Thursday, June 21

A lot of team meetings to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of Spain. The gaffer says we should try to copy the second half of Chelsea's second-leg win over Barcelona in the Champions League. "Just do what those Chelsea players did to keep Barcelona out," he said. So I practised having a bath.

Friday, June 22

Had to fly back to the Ukraine for the quarter-final. The gaffer called me up to the front of the plane, so with Wazza suspended, this time I was pretty confident about what was going to happen.

"I know you've been overlooked a few times already in this tournament and I'm sorry about that," he said. "Others have gone ahead of you, but now it's definitely your turn. You can be the one who gets to go up to the cockpit and sit next to the pilot..."

Saturday, June 23

Scott Parker captain for the quarter-final. Unbelievable. It's been a good game though. Finished 1-1 with goals from Torres and Oxlade-whatever-his-name-is. As I'm writing this, it's currently 4-3 to Spain in the penalty shoot-out. Oh hang on, they need a volunteer for this penalty. Right, here we go then. Plenty of confidence, keep your head down. Looks like there might be a slippy patch of grass right next to the penalty spot. Still, what could possibly go wrong.....

* Obviously not