TOMMY Conway takes a deep breath and sits back in his seat.
"It gives me flashbacks and this will probably make me emotional," he says.
He's recalling his devastating double setback in May, the injury he suffered in the Championship play-off semi-final tie at Southampton that not only ruled him out of the final at Wembley after Middlesbrough were reinstated but also the World Cup with Scotland.
In the immediate aftermath, Conway admitted, he was the "lowest he's ever been".
"When I did the injury in the game, you tell yourself you'll be OK and you'll get through it," he says in an honest and revealing sit-down interview with the Northern Echo.
"At that moment in time we were out, not in the final and my sole focus was being available for the World Cup.
"Then I went to see a specialist on the Friday, had a scan and felt better in myself so automatically gave myself a bit of hope."
That hope soon disappeared.
"I sat down with the specialist, he span his screen around and I just saw a fracture straight through my ankle," says Conway.
"I was sat next to my mum. The specialist just said he would advise me to have an op, if I wanted to carry on the risk would be arthritis and things going wrong in the future.
"It was a no brainer for me but from that moment on it hit home I wasn't going to be able to go to the World Cup.
"Then I was on the train back and Steve Clarke gave me a call and said he'd heard the news and he was sorry. He told me I was going, I was going to be part of the squad, so that was another bitter pill to swallow.
"I went in for my op on the Tuesday after that and then that afternoon we found out we were back in the final.
"That gave me a lift. I was so happy for the lads and I thought we could potentially get to the Prem.
"The game happened, what happened happened. Then after that, I was reflecting on everything. I played every game and missed out on that last game. I wasn't going to the World Cup.
"For a week or two after that I was probably the lowest I've ever been. My parents had probably never seen me so quiet."
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Conway doesn't really do quiet. He's very much the life and soul, as displayed in the club's footage from the Riverside tunnel after the weekend victory over Lincoln City. As the victorious players made their way back to the home dressing room, Conway was serenading goal hero Will Lankshear, singing the chant that had echoed from the South Stand moments earlier.
Conway is upbeat, positive, a joker. It's not uncommon for his face to appear at the window of the media room door during a Rockliffe press conference.
But it must have been incredibly difficult for him to put on a brave face for the Wembley weekend?
"I hate watching," he says.
"Even watching the Espanyol friendly recently was making me tense because I want to be on the pitch and having an impact. I feel helpless and you don't feel like a footballer when you're behind the dugout watching.
"But I'm a big part of the dressing room, a big character and I knew I had to be there for the boys [at Wembley].
"I knew I had to be at Wembley. I went the Friday night. I was there at the hotel as I normally would be, playing cards with the boys, lifting spirits, just as though I was playing.
"Then get to the game and I was going round the boys before they went out to warm up, giving them a talking to, just trying to do what I could to help.
"I think I've learnt a lot about myself in terms of the character I am and the impact I can have on the boys.
"Even in the games coming up that I'm going to miss, I'll try to have an impact."
It was in Portugal a couple of months after the Hull City play-off final defeat that boss Hellberg told the Northern Echo that Conway was the one player he wouldn't have wanted to be without at Wembley.
That shouldn't really have come as a surprise, for it's no secret how much Hellberg values the forward. Back in January, he said Conway was the type of player who "made him fall in love with football".
"I remember seeing that and it did make me happy," says Conway.
"Praise like that from your manager, there's nothing better. The person you want to impress the most is Kim.
"I can't speak highly enough of him. Since he's come in, the confidence he's given me is incredible. How he coaches and goes about his business, I've never felt as sure when I go on to a football pitch about what to do and my exact role.
"I just love working under him. That shows in my performances I think and if you were at the training ground every day you'd see it shows in how I am. I just love playing for him and want to give back to him.
"I'm glad he gets recognition and hopefully I can be available as much as possible this season."
When Conway is available again - it won't be long, he's in the final stages of his recovery from two summer surgeries - the forward will again play a staring role for Boro. And he'll again be used on the left flank.
Conway made his name in the Championship, first at Bristol City and then at Boro, as a striker, but Hellberg and his assistant David Selini quickly decided they wanted to tweak the 24-year-old's role after their arrival at the end of last year.
"I remember early doors sitting down with David and he told me about playing from the left and how I have the power and strength and speed to beat players, and when I get the ball out there I can help the team," says Conway.
"That was in like December time and it naturally progressed. I started to enjoy it out there. I saw a lot more of the ball and every game I felt like I was getting better.
"I've never felt as confident as in that Southampton home leg playing in that position. I just wanted the ball all the time and Kim spoke to me after the game and said it's the best he's ever seen a left winger play.
"It's from him giving me the confidence and them telling me I can do it, which prior to them coming I never thought I'd be able to do.
"Him and his staff, the confidence they've given me, I can't tell you how much it helps me on the pitch and how much I enjoy playing there.
"I'd say it's a natural progression. Then you do clips with Kim and he's giving me tips. David compared me to a young Wayne Rooney, that build, and Kim compares me to Jack Grealish!"
Talk of comparisons leads Conway to discussing how this current Boro squad stacks up against the others he's been part of in the Championship.
"From my experience, this will be my fifth Championship experience and it's the strongest squad I've been part of," he says.
"Especially with the business we've done already. I'm looking at the squad thinking this is strong.
"I'm looking at the team against Wrexham then I'm looking at where I'm sat and I'm seeing Aidan [Morris] next to me, Riley [McGree], David Strelec, Myles Peart-Harris, [Abdoulaye] Kante, six, seven players that would also play on the pitch.
"The depth we have now, that was perhaps an issue last year, which I think the manager has said, but the depth now will definitely make us stronger going forward this season and will make us a real contender for promotion.
"I don't mind saying that because I really believe it. I just hope now we can back it up on the pitch and everyone buys into what Kim and the staff want, and I can't see why we can't achieve it."
And how much it would mean to Conway to win promotion and to give back to an area that he's fallen in love with.
"I've bought into everything. I just feel like the Teesside people and the way they go about everything resembles what's in me, giving 100 per cent, hard graft, giving back to people," he says.
"I can see myself in other people up here. It's really special how passionate the fans and people are and it just makes me want to give back."
Conway was speaking at Middlesbrough FC Foundation's Utilita Football Festival last week at the opening of the new Southlands Community and Sports Hub.
Local families turned out in the sunshine and Conway was great. He was warm, welcoming and had time for everyone in attendance. He was just himself. And on Teesside, Conway has always felt like he fits right in.
"Even when I was home over the summer, I missed being up here and missing being in the area and being around these people," he says.
"My life is here. I'm really happy. I settled really quickly.
"When you feel like you're at home you'll play your best football and hopefully I'll build on that this year and hopefully success and the Premier League is just around the corner."
What would it mean to go one better than last season, to win promotion with Boro and play in the Premier League with Boro?
"I feel like I am a Boro fan," he says.
"I'm not just saying that. I feel like I am a fan even though I've only been here two years.
"I feel connected with the fans like I've never felt, how passionate it is, how much it means to everyone here.
"It broke me last year when we didn't get promoted. It took me days to get over, but it's given me even more fire in the belly to get over the line and give this town something to be proud of.
"Premier League football will give everyone in this town a boost. It's something that while I'm at this club I'm desperate to achieve, then I'll be happy."
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