TOTTENHAM defender Djed Spence has opened up on the "confidence shattering" comments and spell that followed his Middlesbrough exit.
Spence left Boro for Tottenham in a £20m deal in 2022, but then manager Antonio Conte described the full-back as a club signing.
For Spence, hearing the comments of the Italian was a hammer-blow, particularly at a time when he says he was riding high after a hugely impressive loan spell at Nottingham Forest.
Spence didn't feature in Conte's plans and ended up going out on loan to Rennes, Leeds and Genoa, but says he forever kept in mind that “when you believe in yourself and trust in God everything will align with itself”.
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A full debut for Spurs didn't come until December last year, two and a half years after he'd joined the club.
"The biggest hurdle is when I signed for Tottenham and I didn’t necessarily feel the love straight away,” said Spence.
“I was on such a high going into the club. I’d done really well, got promoted with Nottingham Forest. I am buzzing, I am going to sign for Tottenham.
"So to hear comments like that wasn’t nice. It does shatter your confidence a bit. I almost came crashing down because of comments from the manager and not playing. I was in a difficult space.
“But, you know, I am a fighter, so whatever I do I will try to do my best in everything I can.”
Spence showed flashes of what he was capable of during his time at Boro but he was inconsistent and questions were raised about his attitude.
Former boss Neil Warnock once said Spence was going to be "Premier League or non-league", which led to the defender tweeting a photo of himself with the play-off trophy while smoking a cigar, and tagging Warnock in it after he went up with Forest.
Spence said: “I wouldn’t say I particularly have a list but I do have a mental note of people who doubted me, for sure, and it does feel good to prove them wrong.
“I’ve always had that from a young age, from grassroots football to academy – if you’re going to stay on or get released or get your scholar [contract] – to being a professional. I’ve always had to fight for my position and deal with disappointment.”
Spence has finally established himself at Tottenham and enjoyed a fine start to the season under new boss Thomas Frank, which led to the 25-year-old getting his first England call-up this week.
And he was both honoured and surprised to learn he is in line to make history as England’s first openly Muslim player.
“I’ve seen that,” he said.
“It’s a blessing, it’s amazing. I did see something like that. I was surprised, really, first ever. It’s just amazing. I don’t have the words really.”
"If I can do it, you can do it. It’s [important] not just for Muslim kids but for any child of any faith. Put your mind to something and you can do it, man.
“In the toughest moments of my life, the darkest moments, I’ve always believed that God has always been by my side.
“When I’m winning, when I’m in a good moment, I promote God as well because he’s always been by my side. It’s a big thing for me, my faith.”
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