ON the day that the Government tested its emergency warning system, Newcastle United put European football’s big boys on red alert. The Magpies have their eyes on next season’s Champions League, and on the evidence of a barely-believable dismantling of Tottenham, they mean business as they look to reclaim a position amongst the continental elite.

A game that was billed as a heavyweight meeting of top-four rivals was settled before the 22-minute mark as Newcastle fired home five goals without reply to leave Spurs punch-drunk. Jacob Murphy and Alexander Isak claimed two goals apiece, with the former rifling home a sensational long-range finish after pouncing on a rebound to claim his first, and the latter showcasing all of his goalscoring instincts as he dispatched two clinical finishes from inside the 18-yard box in the space of three minutes.

Joelinton also found the net in the early stages as Newcastle ran riot, and while Harry Kane pulled a goal back at the start of the second half, Callum Wilson left the bench midway through the second period to claim his side’s sixth.

While Spurs were horrendous, highlighting just how far they have sunk this season, Newcastle’s attacking play was exhilarating. With Bruno Guimaraes prompting from the heart of midfield, and Murphy, Joelinton and Joe Willock all straining every sinew to support a razor-sharp Isak, this was the Magpies at their energetic best. By the time the final whistle put Spurs out of their misery, Newcastle had scored six goals in a Premier League game for the first time since Norwich were demolished in 2015.

It was a day for trawling through the history books. Newcastle had never previously scored five goals in the first half of a Premier League game – here, they had accomplished the feat after 21 frenetic and completely unforgettable minutes.

It was the second-fastest 5-0 lead established in Premier League history – Manchester City needed just 19 minutes to score five against Watford in 2018 – and by the time the half-time whistle blew, Newcastle had claimed their biggest first-half haul since they smashed six past Leicester City on the day Kevin Keegan’s side lifted the Division One title. So much for Eddie Howe’s side being unable to get out of the traps, as had been the case in each of their three previous away games.

In their own way, each of Newcastle’s opening five goals was a thing of beauty. Yes, Tottenham’s desultory attempt at defending was embarrassing, with the visitors continuing to play a suicidally high line even when it was obvious the tactic was playing into their opponents’ hands, but the speed and slickness with which the Magpies repeatedly dissected the Spurs defence was nevertheless mesmerizing.

The opener came just 61 seconds in, with Joelinton cutting infield from the left and breaking across the face of the 18-yard box before firing in a low shot. Hugo Lloris got his hand to the ball, diving low to his left, but he could only parry it into the path of the onrushing Murphy, who calmly slotted home.

Newcastle doubled their lead in the sixth minute, with Joelinton’s galloping running again penetrating the Spurs defence. Timing his run behind Pedro Porro to perfection as he raced on to Fabian Schar’s floated long ball, the Brazilian rounded Lloris before stroking a crisp finish into the bottom corner.

A euphoric St James’ Park could barely believe what was going on, but the fun was only starting. Three minutes later, and before the clock had ticked to the ten-minute mark, the hosts were celebrating their third goal of an already remarkable afternoon. In terms of individual brilliance, it was the best of the lot.

A shellshocked Eric Dier played a dreadful ball out defence, with an alert Dan Burn closing down quickly to win back possession. Murphy picked up the loose ball, and from a position close to the corner of the penalty area, the winger fired a sensational finish that flew past a helpless Lloris and nestled in the bottom corner. Having only scored one goal in the whole of the rest of the season, Murphy had trebled his tally in the blink of an eye.

A handful of Spurs fans were already heading to the exits at that stage, but the trickle was about to become a flood. Newcastle’s fourth came on the 19-minute mark, with Isak, who had retained his place in the starting side ahead of Wilson, getting in on the act.

Willock’s brilliant through ball from the left-hand side caught the Spurs defence napping once again, and after bursting beyond the backline, Isak steadied himself before slotting another precise finish into the same left-hand corner that was becoming Newcastle’s favourite spot.

Enough excitement for the opening quarter of the game? Not quite. A fifth goal arrived just two minutes later, with Isak doubling his personal tally to match Murphy’s. The recalled Sean Longstaff backheeled the ball into Isak’s path, and with commendable composure given the bedlam that was building around him, the Swede slotted another composed strike past Lloris’ right hand.   

Longstaff almost added a sixth before the break with a shot that was deflected wide, but Harry Kane always scores at St James’ Park, and sure enough, the England skipper at least stemmed the bleeding from a Spurs perspective as he scored his 24th goal of the season four minutes after the break. Barging his way past Schar to break into the left of the box, Kane drilled an angled finish across Nick Pope.

Howe brought on Wilson and Miguel Almiron in the 67th minute, and they combined 60 seconds later to make it six. Almiron’s shot was deflected into Wilson’s path, and Newcastle’s number nine stuck out a leg to stab home.