With the awards season just about out of the way - and well done by the way to the BBC for introducing a Bench Warmer of the Year prize on Sunday night just so that Theo Walcott could claim to have achieved something this year - it's time to turn our attention to the wonders that await us in 2007. Gazing into my crystal ball, here's what I confidently predict will unfold over the course of the next 12 months:

Football - England will finally win a match. Don't worry though, it'll only be against Andorra in March and it'll only come courtesy of a deflected Peter Crouch header in the 89th minute.

It won't really make up for the humiliating defeat to Israel four days earlier, a game that will see Steve McClaren pioneer a revolutionary 6-3-1 formation.

"Some people might claim I'm a bit too defensive," said the England boss. "But I thought some of our back-passes were fantastic. And Robbo managed to kick every one."

Back in the Premiership, the game goes into meltdown when Cristiano Ronaldo is awarded a penalty against Chelsea for falling over an invisible blade of grass.

"What's more important," asks Sir Alex Ferguson. "Protecting a player like Cristiano who's got really sensitive feet, or arguing about a blade of grass that might or might not have been there?"

In a nouveau riche pastiche of the "Buffetgate" scandal of two years ago, things get even worse when Roman Abramovich and Jose Mourinho throw plates of foie gras and truffles down the front of Ferguson's suit.

In the North-East, Newcastle's injury crisis worsens when Kieron Dyer is ruled out for two months following a bizarre ironing incident and Michael Owen suffers a jaw injury from giving repeated interviews in which he "promises to be back playing before the end of the season".

Sunderland win promotion after beating Wolves in the play-off final - a game that is best remembered for Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy swapping the normal pre-match handshake for an arm wrestle - and Middlesbrough's final home game with Fulham is abandoned when it is discovered that all 22 players, and the whole of the crowd, have fallen asleep.

Cricket - England finally win a match. Don't worry, though, it'll only be against Kenya in the group stage of the World Cup and it'll only come courtesy of Paul Collingwood's unbeaten 265, an innings that is described as "gritty" in the national press.

It won't really make up for the humiliating defeat to Canada a week earlier, a game that will see Duncan Fletcher pioneer a revolutionary team selection that includes no batsmen and no bowlers.

"I don't want batsmen who can't bowl and bowlers who can't bat. If they can't do both, they might as well do nothing, so I've picked a team of players capable of exactly that," he said. Ashley Giles, however, still makes the starting XI.

Back at home, the summer series with the West Indies begins with a bang as Brian Lara hits a record-breaking 600 not out in the first Test at Lord's.

"Things would have been different if only Monty Panesar had taken that catch when Lara was on 478," said Fletcher. "Maybe everyone who's been urging me to play him might start waking up to reality a bit now."

In the North-East, Durham's County Championship season goes right down to the wire for the second season running.

Needing to beat Kent in the final match, the ECB reluctantly allow Durham to field Steve Harmison. Aware that Newcastle are playing live on TV on the Wednesday night, he produces an inspired display to wrap the game up in two-and-a-half sessions and immediately charters a helicopter to St James'.

Rugby Union - England finally win a match. Don't worry, though, it'll only be against Uruguay in the group stage of the World Cup and it'll only come courtesy of a last-minute try from Andy Farrell, who will embark on a panicked charge to the line when he assumes it's the sixth tackle.

It won't really make up for the humiliating defeat to the United States two weeks earlier, a game that will see the recalled Andy Robinson pioneer a revolutionary team selection of 14 forwards and a full-back.

"I thought it was about time we got back to doing what England does best," said Robinson, who will be offered his old job back when every rugby coach in the country refuses to take Rob Andrew's calls. "That means putting our faith in a group of blundering 18-stone idiots and letting them charge head-first into the opposition without even trying to pass the ball to a team-mate."

Jonny Wilkinson's latest comeback follows a predictable course. The fly-half is hailed as "England's returning hero" as he scores 25 points to beat Saracens, only to trip over his shoe-laces as he leaves the field, ruling him out for six months with "foot trauma"