MY father died of cancer. By the time it was diagnosed it was too late to cure him. I blame our GP, who insisted for a long time that my father had a stomach ulcer.

However, the surgeons operated and removed a lot of the tumour. After a short respite period it grew so large again my father was in constant pain. My mother told me in the last few months he used to beg her to give him enough pills to end it all.

For the last three weeks he was in hospital, so drugged he rarely knew who was there and just lay in his bed groaning. Now and then he sat bolt upright and screamed with pain.

I asked the doctors if there was any way they could end it, but they said no.

More than 40 years later, I am haunted by his screams and suffering. I cry at the thought of it.

I keep a supply of painkillers hidden so that should it happen to me I can save myself from the same fate.

If I am unable to do this I only hope I can find someone with the courage to help me go and that my children will not hound them just to salve their own feelings.

Name supplied, Co Durham.