WHAT makes the perfect pub landlady and landlord team?

Wife Sylvia and I, with Marjorie and Roy, our best man of 58 years ago, were at The Walnut, in Heworth, York, for our weekly ration of the hard stuff (two pints and a half of beer and an apple and mango juice).

As I put our drinks on the table, my full pint glass decided to empty its contents over the crotch and upper legs of my trousers.

Apart from the awful feeling, like you get when bathing in the sea and the cold water reaches your vulnerable parts, the massive dark patch on my lower middle region was revealed to everybody in the lounge. You have to be able to laugh at yourself - and I joined in that which emerged from all directions.

Caroline and Kevin came in and were treated to graphic descriptions of the episode. Eventually, my glass was replenished and a plan took shape. I was escorted upstairs to their bedroom by Kevin.

I returned to my full glass dressed in a pair of his best sports trousers.

Caroline and Kevin will tell the tale for years to come.

George Appleby, Clifton, York.