I AM soon to retire and have just realised I have missed my true vocation in life.

Had I taken the right career path - and here's the best bit - using other people's money I could now be enjoying the following: Sky subscription, £372; food, £3,200; kitchen refurbishment, £11,200; dishwasher, £516; monthly mortgage repayment, £1,741; mock Tudor boards on house, £312; light bulbs, £15; cleaning services, £723; painting and decorating, £1,396; Aga servicing, £50; shower installation, £3,000.

Unfortunately, my claim for £600 worth of garden plants was rejected.

Guessed yet what I should have been?

No wonder MPs worked so hard to keep their expenses a secret - because the above is what some of them claimed. Be under no illusion, they used our money.

M Hawkins, Langley Park, Durham.