Desperate Housewives (C4): 'THEY'VE mopped up all the ambiotic fluid, it should be safe to start the conga line," says Lynette's husband as Desperate Housewives returns with more darkly comic happenings in suburbia.

Wedding receptions can be difficult occasions and this was no exception. The surrogate carrying Eva's child - whom I thought was called Chow Mein until I checked and found it was Xiao Mei - went into labour at Bree's wedding to homicidal dentist Orson Hodge.

Life in Wisteria Lane has got better and is back on form after the second series, which showed signs of becoming pretty desperate for storylines.

Gabrielle was having to cope with the demands of her pregnant maid/surrogate mother, or "crazy Chinese woman" as she called her. She was the one who was crazy when the baby emerged from the womb and was a different colour to anyone else in the delivery room, including the parents.

Susan was also at the hospital, visiting comatose Mike, victim of a hit-and-run accident. She found romance over the bedpans with Ian (played with a very odd British accent by Scot Dougray Scott), whose wife is also in a coma.

Clumsy Susan's idea of foreplay was to spill a smoothie over the unconscious woman. Lynette wanted to pour something more unpleasant over Nora, the mother of her husband's illegitimate child who insists on being part of the family.

She even pushed her way into the family photograph for their Christmas card. Screaming, "You're in the frame, bitch - move," isn't perhaps the best way for Lynette to deal with the situation.

But their problems pale compared with those Bree is set to encounter. A whirlwind romance with Orson led to marriage before the end of the second episode.

His first wife walked out after discovering that Orson "was a man who didn't like to be contradicted". Her body was found in time to ruin the wedding day. Going to the mortuary so that your new husband can identify the body of his previous wife isn't everyone's idea of a honeymoon.

There was even someone - Orson's neighbour Carolyn, played by former Roseanne star Laurie Metcalf - who tried to stop the wedding. She wanted Bree to ask Orson if he killed his wife. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," said Bree.

"It's really bad luck to marry a wife killer," replied Carolyn.

Bree, who has an unfortunate record with men, has her own reasons to ignore the warning signs after going back on her plan not to sleep with him before they were married.

Houseproud Bree was turned on by the sight of him fastidiously washing glasses. There was a slight hiccup in the bedroom as Orson disappeared beneath the sheets with her insisting, "I don't do that, I'm a Republican".

The results of the intimate act puzzled her, causing her to consult her doctor about the strange "but not entirely unpleasant" sensation she'd felt. The doctor's diagnosis was simple, "I think you may have had an orgasm".