I WAS astonished when a North-East MP alleged that people on sickness benefits – called to “fit for work” tests – are asked if they “sat around all day watching Jeremy Kyle”.

My astonishment grew when the private firm responsible admitted this was true, arguing it helped determine whether someone was capable of “concentrating” for long enough to perform a job.

This appeared to be yet another black mark against Atos Healthcare – in a lengthy dossier that has led to protests that the company simply “doesn’t give Atos”.

After all, watching Jeremy Kyle is the accepted tabloid metaphor for being a “scrounger”. What could be more judgmental than asking a benefit claimant if they tuned in?

The allegation, raised by Hartlepool MP Iain Wright, was just one in a string of condemnations of Atos that flowed from the lips of North-East MPs, in a debate that dripped with anger.

Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland) condemned the “work capability assessment” – due to be carried out on 90,000 incapacity benefit claimants in the region – as “cruel and demeaning”. Kevan Jones (Durham North) described the tests as “torture” for the mentally ill and Mr Wright branded them “crass, insensitive, unprofessional”.

I make no apology for returning to this subject.

Last week’s story kicked off fierce arguments on our website – and triggered a subtle shift in the protest about the policy.

Afterwards, the MP who led the debate – former Labour minister Michael Meacher – agreed that “getting rid of Atos would seem a triumph”, but would change nothing.

The company was the target for abuse, but was simply obeying orders from the Department for Work and Pensions, which decides the “descriptors” for tests.

Someone is judged fit for work even if they “cannot mount or descend two steps unaided”, “cannot use a pen to make a meaningful mark”, or are “at risk of loss of control leading to extensive evacuation of the bowel”, Ms Goodman told MPs.

As MP after MP spoke of the pain this was causing sick people – including words from a former Conservative minister, who said the process was “so damaged it can never really be effective” – it was clear this story will not go away.

But, in reply, County Durham-born work minister Mark Hoban insisted the test was working well and that all independent recommendations to improve it had been implemented.

So the true target of North-East MPs’ anger became clearer – but they are no nearer to hitting it.

WHEN my kids complain I’m losing my hearing in middle-age, I insist they are guilty of mumbling – but then a key Commons exchange this week made me wonder.

I reported that Education Secretary Michael Gove had said there was a “very, very good case” for keeping 480 threatened civil service jobs in Darlington, which appeared to be good news.

Then I turned to Hansard, to discover the Parliamentary scribes had recorded Mr Gove as simply saying there was “a good case” – which is rather less encouraging.

Relief! A playback on the website confirmed I was correct, that my hearing is intact, that the Mowden Hall staff should be optimistic – and that you can’t always trust Hansard.