NEWSPAPERS are often accused of inventing things. But real life is frequently far too silly to make up.

Della Cannings' shower is a classic example. To spend £28,000 of public money on revamping the ensuite shower of North Yorkshire's Chief Constable would be laughable if it wasn't so serious.

Up the road, Durham's Chief Constable, Jon Stoddart, was coming clean to The Northern Echo last week about the threat of losing 300 officers to avoid £10m of debts.

But North Yorkshire has a £34m reserve fund, so £28,000 for a posh shower is loose change.

North Yorkshire Police Authority member Greg White was quoted as saying: "I am confident we are going along the right track and making the right decisions to provide good policing in the region."

Mr White may be confident but are the taxpayers of North Yorkshire?

Meanwhile, there has been a shower leak from Teesside. It involves the Mayor of Middlesbrough, Ray Mallon, who I hear was a trifle concerned that there wasn't a single shower unit for town hall staff.

He asked for the cost of installing a shower to be checked and was told the council would have to find £6,000.

That kind of money couldn't buy a bidet in North Yorkshire but it was too rich for Mayor Mallon.

APOLOGIES go a long way and, if we get something wrong, we should say so. It is therefore my humble duty to say sorry to Dean Martin.

Last week, we launched a glossy magazine called Living. We're proud of it and we wanted to find a celebrity to help promote it.

Celebrities have been a bit thin on the ground lately, but I'd been to an excellent performance of The Rat Pack at Darlington Civic Theatre and it suddenly struck me that it would be great to have Living promoted by Frank Sinatra, or at least the actor who was a dead ringer for him.

Word came back from the theatre that Frank was willing and our best man was briefed to go to the theatre before the Saturday matinee. The idea was to not only get a picture of Frank reading Living but a video for the website of him singing: "Start spreadin' the news... we're launchin' today... I wanna be a part of it... New Mag, New Mag." Brilliant!

So there I was on Saturday afternoon, in the shower at home (B&Q - very reasonable) when my mobile rang. It was our man with a surreal piece of news: "Frank Sinatra's chickened out but Dean Martin's game."

Beggars can't be choosers so I told him to go for it and the resulting picture appeared last Monday.

The video stayed on the website for two days before Dean Martin's management company rang in a panic, begging us to remove it because it was naff and was embarrassing Dean.

They were absolutely right. We took it off and I apologise for any distress caused.

You couldn't make it up... but Living really is very good.

ON my desk, as I write, is a thank you card from Ann Ming, who fought to change the double jeopardy law after her daughter Julie Hogg was murdered by Billy Dunlop on Teesside.

It says: "Many thanks for all your help and support with the campaign to obtain justice for Julie. As you know, it's been a long struggle but at last Julie can rest in peace."

It made my week.