WHEN did we lose the knack of taming toddlers?

A top politician blames nurseries.

But they’re not the only ones letting tinies run riot.

Some nurseries might be hopeless.

Some parents aren’t much better.

Education Minister Elizabeth Truss this week condemned chaotic pre-schools that allow children to do what they want all day long, saying many nurseries were filled with toddlers “running round with no sense of purpose”.

Sounds just like your average pub on a Sunday lunchtime. Or the supermarket aisles. Or any train, bus or cafe where toddlers are allowed to do as they like and the rest of us are meant to smile indulgently while being deafened by screams or smeared with sticky fingers.

It’s not easy to make small children behave well, but many parents don’t even try.

Look, the reason that God made parents bigger than two-year-olds, was to show toddlers who’s boss. It’s not an advantage that lasts long, so let’s make the most of it.

You certainly don’t have to smack them to prove it. Or even shout. But saying “no” wouldn’t hurt. Or taking their iPad away from them occasionally – apparently many toddlers are now addicted to iPads. And teaching them some consideration towards others.

Full marks to the Beckhams then. Their children always seem immaculately behaved in public.

David said recently that he and Victoria put great emphasis on teaching their children good manners and have done since they were toddlers. If only more followed their example.

It’s amazing how many parents seem scared to say no to someone who barely comes up to their knees. You’re a grown-up. Act like one.

My pet hate is anywhere serving food, where staff struggle with hot plates while knee-high pests run around doing their best to trip them up. And if a child got scalded, who would the angry mother blame? Exactly.

Small children are a delight. They are constantly curious, fascinated by the world. You can almost see their brains working overtime. They soak up information like little sponges.

Sounds an ideal time to instill a few basic good manners.

LIKE bars of chocolate and Greggs’ pasties, school days have been shrinking. Now most state schools start at 9am and finish at 3pm (primary) or 3.30pm (secondary).

Back in The Olden Days we started at 8.55am and finished at 3.30pm in junior school and 4pm in grammar school. Maybe we just needed longer to mix up the powdered ink or recover from walking miles to school, to warm our chilblained fingers by the ancient stove or to chip the ice off our free milk.

Maybe school and parents were just conspiring to give us less time to roam the streets looking for trouble.

Either way, we had an extra three hours a week in which to stuff facts into our little peasant brains.

The posh lot at independent schools always had longer days, usually starting at 8.30am and going on till 4.30pm,or maybe even 6pm if they stayed to do their prep and saved the parents the hassle of supervising homework.

They often went to school on Saturday mornings too. And, despite their longer holidays, they now have even more time in school than the state-educated.

Now the Government wants to make up the difference and make the state school day a little longer. Opponents protest that children are already jaded by the end of the school day. What?

Aren’t state school children up to the challenge?

So why not use the extra half hour for exercise at lunchtime? It’ll wake children up, re-energise them for the afternoon and help the battle of the bulge as well.

That must be worth an extra half hour of anyone’s day.

THE president of the Royal College of Nursing has said that plans to make prospective nurses work as carers as part of their training “will take nursing back 100 years.”

So?

If it means going back to a time when wards were spotless and patients were constantly watched and cared for, that sounds like progress.

DRIVING down to Northallerton on Wednesday I wondered what was different about the road. Then I realised.

After months of bleak, black, bare, branches the hedges are suddenly a mass of green. Wonderful.

It’ll probably snow this weekend, but on Wednesday, at least, it was spring.