OH gosh, yes, how we hate to be party poopers. There you are, still up to your neck in wrapping paper, sticking yourself to the sticky tape and lost the scissors, again. (Doesn't wrapping presents always take MUCH longer than you think?) And before you've even put your presents to other people under the tree, or ripped yours open, we're talking about returning them.

Let's face it, the queue at the returns desk in Marks & Spencer is as much a New Year tradition as Auld Lang Syne, a hangover or failed resolutions.

So it's always useful to know your rights.

WHAT CAN YOU TAKE

BACK AND WHY?

Generally, for a start, anything that is:

* Unsatisfactory quality - a dress which unravels on first wearing, for instance. Interesting, maybe, but not what you want.

* Not fit for purpose - a chocolate fireguard clause that covers all sorts of things from spades that buckle under a shovel full of soil to wellies that let the water in.

* Misdescribed - if they told you your jacket was waterproof and you're a drowned rat. Or if your "pure wool" jumper turns out to be acrylic.

If you can prove any of these faults then you can get your money back.

But what if you just don't like it? Or it's the wrong size? Or granny, auntie and your sister all bought you the same thing?

Basically - tough. If there was nothing wrong with what you - or auntie - bought, you actually have no legal right to a refund or exchange.

BUT out of goodwill and good business sense, most decent stores offer some sort of service. They don't have to, so it helps if you play the game. You will need:

* The receipt. If it's a present, give the receipt to someone else in the family, to be handed over only if necessary.

* To move quickly. Many stores put a time limit on their goodwill exchanges. The middle of January seems a fairly standard one for Christmas presents. Others are more generous. Marks & Spencer isn't as generous as it once was. So don't just stuff things in the back of the wardrobe until next Christmas. Act soon.

MAIL ORDER/INTERNET

If you've been shopping from home, you have a few additional rights. One of these is a full refund if the goods haven't turned up by an agreed date, or within 30 days of placing an order.

But let's hope that all your presents - given and received - are perfect. Otherwise, I'll see you in the returns queue.

THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING...

Is in the bottle. Or the freezer. There are other ways of enjoying Christmas pud apart from in a bowl with brandy sauce. Some chaps might prefer to drink it.

Youngs have done a Christmas Pudding Ale, £1.75. for 500ml. Described as "warming, sweet and fruity", and at 5.5 per cent alcohol, it's probably not something you can have too much of. Just like pud really.

Meanwhile, at Walworth Gate, between Darlington and Barnard Castle, Sue Archer prepared for Christmas by chopping nuts and fruit and glace cherries. This was not for your traditional pud, but for Christmas pudding ice cream.

"Basically, it's just like Christmas pudding, with fruit, nuts, cinnamon, sherry, but with ice cream instead of the flour and fat," says Sue Archer. "Same sort of flavour, but much lighter."

She and husband John re-stocked their farm with 330 Jersey cows and a bull called Gazza, after the foot-and-mouth outbreak. Last summer, they opened an ice cream parlour selling good coffee, cakes and proper dairy ice cream from the Jersey milk.

As well as ice cream - delicious flavours - they also make ice cream birthday cakes, logs and chocolate logs, which also make a change from Yule logs.

"We thought Christmas pudding ice cream would be good, something a bit lighter than a heavy pudding," says Sue.

You can buy it in tubs or a proper bowl shape to turn out with a sprig of holly and it looks just right.

But you'd better not dither - Archers' is open today until 5pm, tomorrow until lunchtime, and then re-opens on January 3.

But they will be open every day from then on, if you fancy a treat away from the leftovers or when an ice cream is just the thing to cheer up a winter's day.

* Archers' Jersey Ice Cream, New Moor Farm, Walworth Gate, Darlington. Tel: (01325) 300336. (Just off the A67 from Darlington to Barnard Castle, near Piercebridge. Or off the A68, Darlington to West Auckland road near Heighington. Follow the brown tourist signs)

MERRY QUIZMAS

Every family needs a game on Christmas afternoon - after the Queen and a little post prandial nap. Nothing too energetic.

For the Christmas Quiz DVD collection, you don't even have to get out of your armchair. Four interactive DVDs, ranging from £14.99 to £19.99 - Gary Lineker's Football Challenge, The Ultimate Pop Quiz, TV Times Soap Challenge and The Great British Pub Quiz.

They're pretty powerful. Each one has over 1,000 questions, video clips and pictures and can be played by one or many players.

Might even keep Grandad awake.

SOUPER

Good soup is seasonal, the best can be truly festive. Irene Bell's is an award winner.

Irene, of Middleton Tyas, near Richmond, won the BBC Good Food Magazine competition to create a seasonal soup for the New Covent Garden Soup Company. Her recipe is a Christmas special of carrot and clementine, with double cream, ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon.

Good any time, but perfect with those turkey sandwiches.

In supermarkets now until early January.