SO THERE'S going to be an on-the-spot fine for those caught feeding feral pigeons in Darlington town centre, not only because of the damage the birds do, but also because they can spread disease. Pity the borough council isn't so concerned about the same birds out in the suburbs.

A householder tired of clearing up the unhealthy mess from their residence, and nests, spilling from a first-floor bay and of being woken several times every night by their thumping around above his bedroom, sought help from the council's pest control department.

No, they didn't do anything about pigeons he was told "because there's a Society for the Protection of Feral Pigeons" and it would cause upset. Googling didn't produce such a society, but did yield the information that such birds can live for 20 years. Twenty years of broken sleep sounds like a health hazard, too.

Lineside inflation

SOME idea of the rate of inflation can be gauged from two warning signs seen beside the railway line between Northallerton and Redmire.

A notice at one of the level crossings informs those tempted to defy it that trespassing on the track carries a penalty of £1,000.

Spectator is old enough to remember those cast iron signs painted black with raised characters in white, manufactured well over a century ago, some of which survived until recently and warned that transgressors could expect to cough up 40 shillings. Come on, class, what was that in old money?

Elsewhere on the line, at one of the many farm accommodation crossings, users are warned by an old British Rail "stop, look and listen sign" to close the gates behind them on pain of a £50 penalty. Lurking somewhere in Spectator's garden shed is a small oblong cast iron sign, again with raised letters and figures, which used to hang on gates and warned offenders that they would have to pay the princely sum of £2 for neglect.

Who's that MP?

AT the last count the housing association building 25 new energy efficient homes on the former site of a row of derelict cottages in Northallerton Road, Leeming Bar, had received 59 suggested names for the road into the long awaited development.

Some sound attractive and apposite, others completely untenable in the view of older folk who know the area, and it would have helped had one contributor known how to spell the surname of his or her local MP, William Hague, who has only held the seat for a mere 16 years.

The list will be duly combed by the parish council, which may yet come up with other suggestions.