GOING POTTY

He's 11-years-old, he wears glasses and is a bit of a nerd but Harry Potter is taking over the world. The tale of his latest adventures went on sale on Saturday and thousands of copies of The Goblet of Fire were sold to eager fans. Today author JK Rowling is in Newcastle to sign copies of the story that is set to increase her stranglehold on the children's book market. Harry may have been criticised for his pagan ways but in a world that thrusts sex and violence at kids it's refreshing to see something as innocent as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry grabbing young imaginations. Rowling has been credited with introducing a generation of children to reading and with at least another three Harry Potter books to come fans, both young and old, are guaranteed a few more years of classic adventures to come.

TOTALLY UP FRONT

Why is the world so shocked that the Wonderbra model Adriana Sklenarikova is following her footballer husband to Middlesbrough? When Adriana announced she would join husband Christian Karembeu when he moves from Real Madrid to the Boro, the common consensus was she had gone mad. Critics claimed Adriana would be unable to find the top fashions, a decent nightlife or any of the beauty products her lifestyle and wallet can afford in Middlesbrough. But Adriana is determined to come to Teesside when Christian starts his training, as planned, in August. The six foot one inch beauty with a figure to die for has only been married for two years and wants to spend as much time as possible with her man. I'm sure Christian appreciates his wife's gesture and he'll be as delighted as the rest of his new team to see her in the stands at the Cellnet stadium.

BARE NECESSITIES

Someone should tell professional streaker Mark Roberts to cover up before he embarrasses himself anymore. Roberts has taken his clothes off at most of the top sporting events and has now added Wimbledon to his list of conquests. The 35-year-old answered the umpire's call for new balls by leaping onto the court during a women's double match. With 'only the balls bounce' written on his chest Roberts jumped over the net, did a foreword roll and cavorted for over a minute before he was grabbed by officials. The players hid their blushes but it should have been Roberts who was going red. Sadly this sad individual lacks one thing all stripper should have - a good physique. He has more than one spare tyre, middle-age spread and a dodgy 1970s haircut, enough to put anyone off their strawberries and cream.

SHOCK TACTICS

Eminem is a rude, offensive and sick man but for some inexplicable reason he is at number one in the music charts. The white rapper's songs glorify torture, guns, murder, rape, incest, drugs and robbery but they are yet to be banned from major UK radio stations. Once only a hit in the US, this vile man is over here persuading a generation of impressionable kids to sing along to his lyrics, when most of them are probably unaware what they are saying. The 25-year-old, currently on bail for gun charges, has a child but even fatherhood has failed to make any impression on him. Anarchy and shock tactics in music are nothing new but Eminem has crossed the boundary between free expression and dangerous offence. It is true we don't have to listen to his songs but those who do are likely to end up with little respect for themselves or others. Radio stations who aim their programmes at the under 18s should think hard before giving this sad figure any more publicity or airtime.