In the basement, appropriately, of Middlesbrough's best known restaurant, a do on Thursday night launched the Boro fans' second annual. In the Purple Onion they were almost crying in their beer.

The atmosphere, like the lighting, was subdued. Not even the murals of voluptuously naked ladies seemed greatly to rouse them. If Bradford City won 5-0, muttered disabled supporters' chairman Paddy Cronesberry, they'd be bottom.

Worse still, folk reckoned, would be for the Boro to win, thus postponing the inevitable by applying Band-Aid to a broken leg.

The book is from the lads who produce the fanzine Fly Me to the Moon. They weren't going to do a second volume, other things occupying their minds, until someone explained the meaning of the word "annual".

FMTTM also runs a website, hits up from 2,000 to 10,000 a day as the crisis deepens and a poll shows 89 per cent seeking Bryan Robson's immediate exit.

"It reminds me of the desperate days of the 80s when Woolworth's shut as well," said Rob Nichols, the editor, who'd nominate Preston manager David Moyes in the improbable event of the chairman seeking his view on a replacement.

Elaine Palmer had helped type the book and provided splendid vocal entertainment, too. Really, though, it was singing the blues. Even Roofus the canine mascot looked a bit hangdog, and not just pining for Dawn Thewlis.

The book will cheer them. Fanzine style, imaginatively compiled and ebulliently produced - "and at the very least," said Rob, "a hardback's good for throwing at the telly."

FMTTM 2001: A Boro Space Oddity (Juniper Publishing, £8.99) asks fans where they were on December 18 1999, when the Boro won 3-2 at Old Trafford.

Russ Allan, Berwick Hills by birth, was at home in the Rocky Mountains of Canada, woke at 5.30am and gradually realised four things. He had a hell of a hangover, it was -15 degrees, kick-off was at eight o'clock local time and the nearest big-screen beam back was in Calgary, two hours drive away.

Halfway there he heard a bang, struggled out, discovered that he'd killed an elk and that the car wasn't very clever, either.

Intrepidly he continued, made the pub with five minutes to kick-off and had his first of the day. Still, it proved memorable, didn't it? "I mean what's the chances of that happening?" writes Russ. "What the heck is an elk doing crossing the road at seven o'clock in the morning?"

The following evening to the Echo's Local Heroes awards, a few anxious moments beforehand but not so much all right as brilliant on the night.

Word on our table was of an award yet to come - and of particular interest to Glaisdale cricketer Darren Harland (Backtrack, November 21) whose batting average last summer was a competitive 314.5.

Next season, bat-makers Gunn and Moore - co-founded in 1885 by England football and cricket international William Gunn - are planning a £100,000 prize for the highest average at any level of cricket.

The catch, if catch it be, is that the winner must have batted throughout with a certain make of bat. Clue: it isn't a Slazenger.

Saturday to Durham City, to present the Albany Northern League manager of the month award to City manager Brian Honour, still a hero in Hartlepool.

These days the award's reckoned something of a poisoned chalice, the cue - ask Marske United - for a couple of unexpected defeats.

City chairman Stewart Dawson doesn't believe in jinxes, of course - "but next time," he pleaded, "can you give it to Bedlington Terriers."

As if they were offering free ale, Shildon Civic Hall was full to the municipals on Sunday afternoon - an attempt by the column's old school friend John Robinson to set a European martial arts record.

Probably they break records, too; in John's sport they break almost everything. The aim was to smash four piled high house bricks with his bare foot, the climax to a weekend's filming for a video called Raw Power and a fund-raiser for Newcastle RVI's "Children with Leukaemia" fund.

Warm-ups included techniques with everything from a coconut to a length of three-quarter inch beading. Joe Robinson, John's 84-year-old father and mentor, wielded a 10lb mell hammer against paving stones balanced on the lad's finger tips.

John, it should be said, has more strength in his fingers than most men in both arms; they were smashing that much it was like a builder's yard back stage.

That the record bid failed - only three out of four shattered, what's possibly called dropping a brick - must not be seen as evidence of the lad's imminent enfeeblement.

Nor, he assured us, was it for want of trying or of training. He'll be back more determined than ever - and not least thanks to £1000 from New Masons landlord Peter Bell, the RVI's appeal is £2,500 better off.

Readers have until Thursday to name the player with most Quakers appearances - so far only one's been wrong-footed - and to have a chance of winning a copy of Definitive Darlington FC by Frank Tweddle. Joe Bradley writes from Houghton-le-Spring, however, about something that's missing from Frank's records page. It's all "bests" and "mosts"; Joe not only recalls the "worst" - the 10-0 defeat at Doncaster Rovers on January 25 1964 - but plays indoor bowls with the unfortunate old schoolmate who was in goal.

"Doncaster won the toss and batted first," began Bob James's match report in the Echo. "Darlington didn't get an innings."

Chris Penman was just 18, a former Preston North End apprentice with just a handful of games between Darlo's sticks. Behind an inexperienced defence he had a living nightmare, said James - "clawing helplessly and hopelessly at shot after shot."

Diminutive Irish international Alfie Hale hit four, "wonder boy" Alick Jeffrey didn't score any, George McGeachie made his Darlington debut and may have wondered why.

Though young Penman was dropped for the next two games - replaced for his only two Quakers appearances by West Auckland keeper Eric Oliver - he made another ten first team appearances that season but never again played in the Football League.

"I'm sure Chris will be happy to be reminded of it," says Joe Bradley. It is, of course, a matter of opinion.

January 25 1964? Sunderland beat Bristol City 6-1 in the FA Cup - Herd 2, Crossan 2, Sharkey, Hurley - and were reckoned a good Wembley bet. Two Ambrose Fogarty goals gave bottom of the table Hartlepools victory at Chesterfield, 14,000 saw Newcastle beat Middlesbrough 4-3 in a rather hostile friendly, the campaign to save Stockton Races recruited its 500th member, Yorkshire wicketkeeper Jimmy Binks hit 55 on his Test debut (and played just once more for England) and at the Farrar Street Stadium in Middlesbrough, Norman Walsh and Billy Two Rivers contrived to knock one another out. As probably they said in the Darlington dressing room that afternoon, it was all rather unfortunate.

Up on Stanley hill top on that doubtless perishing January afternoon, Bill Blenkiron - better known as a Warwickshire cricketer - scored for both teams in Stanley United's Durham 4-2 Challenge Cup win over Murton.

The goals were an hour apart. At Billingham Synthonia on Saturday, Dave Connor - saint and Synner, if ever - scored at both ends with just 90 seconds between offence and atonement.

The first was a header past his own keeper, the second a magnificent effort after beating three opponents from Peterlee. "You could say he made up in style," observes our man at the match. That one finished 4-2 as well. Is 90 seconds a record?

THE answers to Friday's questions: Darlington's record scorer is Alan Walsh with 100, the most capped player whilst with the club is Jason de Vos (three for Canada) and the club cat in the 1980s was called Mitch.

Darlo John Goodall, unexpectedly encountered en route to his 75th match of the season - abandoned after 41 minutes - seeks the identity of two Football League clubs with each of the first five letters of the alphabet in the name and two which contain none of the first five.

An answer, to the letter, on Friday