Your poems

My wife and I once down to Stratford we rode

On Maud's bus to see where the great bard once abode.

They say it's every Englishman's duty

To visit his house and the land's wondrous beauty.

The bus dropped us off in a huge bus park

To get to the village, about an half hour's walk.

We fought our way through

Like well-trained endurists,

Through thousands and thousands

Of Japanese tourists.

We finally found his house,

Just past a steeple,

But couldn't get near

For thousands of people.

So we went to the park, but couldn't find a seat,

So we sat on a wall

To rest our poor feet.

It must have been a beautiful hamlet

In Shakespeare's day.

The beautiful River Avon

Flowing gently on its way.

The verse tells of its beauty

When you read the old scribe's tale,

But they mustn't have seen the magic

Of our own rugged Teesdale.

F Wallis, Barnard Castle.

Walkies

Recently, I have wondered why,

Almost everywhere I've been,

People are reluctant to linger

When I come on the scene.

Is there some sinister reason why

They can't be seen with me?

Something about my presence

With which they firmly disagree?

I don't think I have got BO

(My best friend has not said).

I bathe most thoroughly and often,

From tip to toe to head.

I see neither twitching noses,

Nor any disapproving looks

There's just a casual: "Got to go!"

As they sling their hooks.

The casual manner of my attire

Is untidy, but it's clean.

I am not a troublemaker

Who has come to make a scene.

I am neither anti-social,

Nor indelicately crude.

My manners are impeccable,

I don't swear, I am not rude.

My religion and my politics

Are a matter for myself.

I am neither steeped in poverty,

Nor imbibing in great wealth.

I have the same of everything

As any man you may know.

So, why is it when I approach,

Folk just get up and go?

No one stands still long enough

For the most innocent of talk;

And it happens every time I take

My tiger for a walk.

LP Brighton, Darlington.

The Year Of The Millennium

Is this the year 2001?

Has it now ended or just begun?

The powers that be are still undecided

When it came and when it departed,

How it ended and when it started.

Now that twelve months have passed away,

Should we allow this decision to stay?

In another thousand years

Will it matter to old Mother Earth,

When to the second millennium

She precisely gave birth?

Mary Wright, Shildon.

United Nations

The year 2000 has passed by.

Did you greet this new year with a cry or sigh?

Some countries had wars, they liked fights

And the queer thing was, they all thought they were right.

The worst off were the ones that fought,

Many were either killed, wounded or caught.

The president, generals and other top brass

Thought at least they would like to be put out to grass.

Let's be fair, in some countries food was short.

At least you expected to be fed, if you were wounded or caught.

The UN was set up so people would be good

And it also thought there would be plenty of food.

Now it's got round to 2001

And you know that over 50 years have gone.

Yes, the United Nations is over 50 years old

And countries still think that making guns is like minting gold.

Joseph Lee, Darlington.

It's Over

The millennium year is over

And good riddance to that Dome,

London has a new Lord Mayor,

His name's Kenneth Livingstone.

Betty Boothroyd she retired,

Kevin Keegan packed the England job in.

As we look back at some of the things that happened in the Millennium.

There was disaster as the Concorde crashed

And the Russian submarine sank

And there was trouble with the Tories

As William Hague bragged: "Fourteen pints I drank."

There was flooding all over the country.

They said global warming was to blame,

As Britain went on a slowdown,

Because you couldn't get a train.

All over America there was confusion and deceit

As they tried to pick a brand new president,

Over five weeks the American people had to wait,

As Hillary Clinton was elected first woman to the senate.

Seventy five pence for the pensioners,

They said it wasn't fair.

Mrs Judith Keppel won a million

On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

There was chaos with the fuel strike,

It made the Government change its ways.

As Marks and Spencer's shares crashed

And so did C and A.

And what about our police force,

Some people think they are fools,

But don't forget they caught the thieves

Who tried to steal the Millennium Jewels.

There were lots and lots of things that happened in the Millennium,

But there was one royal event - and that was the hundredth birthday of our own Queen Mum.

Alan Bennett, Esh Winning.

The Opera Singer

Sitting in serenity

And quiet concentration,

A darling diva irradiates

Adrenalined elation.

Camouflaged in the lamplight,

She's set for what lies ahead,

A repertoire of euphoria

Engulfing her lucid head.

The door-knock, soft as velvet,

Sends contact into her room.

She titivates her appearance,

She knows that her time has come.

Standing at the plush curtain,

Butterflies bustling inside,

She is eager for her audience

Like a fit-for-bursting bride.

Garrulous and expectant,

Packed-to-capacity tiers

Crescendoesquely come to hush

As their soprano appears.

She of the power and passion,

Emotion drenched in her chords;

An auditorium, ignited,

Stunned by her presence, applauds.

David Coates, Shildon.

First This Century

Fish stocks dwindling. Oh no, you can't eat beef,

Increased congestion, well, is there any relief?

Roads in chaos and a crisis on the railways

Sign of progress? Cancellations, further delays.

Torrential rain spreading across the country.

Technology can't wipe away the misery,

Having to face redundancies multiplying.

Inflated egos, trust in public dying,

Sitting waiting months on end to get an op.

Crime haunts, steals your freedom, how can we make this stop?

Earth crumbles, global warming they say is to blame.

Neighbours sue each other. Have you put in a claim?

Taxes rocket, pound in your pocket takes a knock.

Urban decline, scandals a'fever, it don't shock.

Relationships breaking up so rapidly.

Yes. There is some good news, but can't think of any.

John Neal, Chester-le-Street.

The Optimist

When you buy a daily paper

And read the startling headlines

You'd think man was creating

His own disastrous deadlines.

But if we are the optimist

And see the sunny side

Then progress is no ogress

For God will be our guide.

To see man through the perils,

The quandary and strife

That besets the role and destiny

Of every human life.

So ever be the optimist

There should be room for mirth

And happiness to fill the hearts

Of all upon this earth.

Don't lose faith in human nature,

Our future may be bright,

Try and see life's goodness -

There's always hope in sight.

Man's turmoils and his troubles

Could be an endless list

But we can cope with faith and hope

So be an optimist.

Linda French, Hartlepool.