IN Rwanda, people are starving. In Mozambique, whole communities have been wiped out. Children have been orphaned. Thousands of families are homeless.

Meanwhile, here in Britain, what do Vanessa Feltz and Anthea Turner - two of the six stars who have been living under constant camera scrutiny in the celebrity version of Big Brother this week - have to blubber, wail and cry about? The fact that they aren't the most popular women on TV, that not everyone worships and adores them as much as they thought.

While Comic Relief highlights the awful pain and suffering in the world, the self-obsessed Vanessa and self-pitying Anthea wept heartfelt tears for Me, Me, Me. And they couldn't even see the irony in that.

Celebrity Big Brother, which finishes tonight, is a brilliant expos of the sad and empty cult of celebrity,

Away from the protective shield of TV scripts, soft-focus cameras, fawning chat show hosts and the sugary sweet prose of magazines like Hello!, we have seen huge, monstrous egos and gargantuan insecurities in the raw.

Vanessa and Anthea, with TV careers on the slide, should be admired for subjecting themselves to such intense scrutiny for charity. But their decision to take part in the game show, which is, basically, a popularity contest, probably says more about just how deluded they are.

It had clearly not crossed their minds they might be nominated to leave. At one point, a disturbingly hysterical Vanessa appeared as if she was about to tip over the edge. If she was expecting sympathy, she didn't get it in our house. We laughed so much it hurt.

And anyone who felt sorry for miserable, fragile little Anthea must have felt cheated when they saw the triumphant, celebratory smirk on her face as she hugged boxer Chris Eubank as he, and not she, was voted out of the house first.

It made for absolutely unmissable television, a rare and compelling glimpse of fame stripped bare. If Anthea and Vanessa had played it cool, like the other contestants, it would have made very boring viewing. And their antics did help make a huge amount of money for Comic Relief. Perhaps, if they learn one thing, it will be to save their tears for things that really matter.

Like the mother struggling to feed her children in Rwanda, or the child who has lost his entire family in Mozambique.

THE Government's new code of practice for supermarkets will do little to end their stranglehold on farmers, say campaigners. But we consumers must bear some responsibility. We don't have to buy cheap, mass-produced meat from Asda or Safeway. We can pay more for better quality at farmers' markets and local butchers and eat it less frequently, just as we used to decades ago when a chicken or a roast was a once-a-week treat. Supermarkets were forced to listen when we refused to buy GM foods. Forget the Government's code of practice: it's what we put in our shopping baskets that counts.

CAROLE Stone is a society hostess who has written a new book on the art of making friends. In it, she advises women not to reveal they are stay-at-home mums when asked what they do at a party. People are embarrassed, better to tell them what you used to do when you worked full-time, she says. Does Carole really consider motherhood an embarrassment, more, say, than being an empty-headed society hostess?

GOSSARD'S team of highly skilled technicians has spent years developing a new inflatable bra, featuring airbags which can be blown up in each cup. The technology behind it has been described as "ground-breaking" and "revolutionary". But can anyone explain how it differs from the technology behind my two-year-old's inflatable arm-bands?