I JUST want to ask you three questions:

Do you have a passion to improve the life of the region? Can you spare two days a month? Would like £7,203 per annum for three years?

If the answer to all three is yes (and Spectator envisages a chorus of Yosser-like "I can do that" replies), speak to Karen Younger at the Government Office for the North-East on 0191 202 3684.

And the job? Not dodgy selling, but a seat on the board of the regional development agency, One North-East. It is looking for fresh faces.

But what's the betting that, when the quango announces its new members, it will be the usual mixture of councillors, union bigwigs and businessmen? Still, if we all apply ...

The snail's pace

THE moor road from Whitby to Guisborough is built neither for speed nor for ease of overtaking, in spite of the extensive ironing out of the twistier stretches in recent decades. Nor does the road have a clean sheet in the accident records.

That there was not another accident somewhere along it on Saturday afternoon is largely the result of luck. Drivers were overtaking on double white lines and taking their chance in the face of blind bends and summits or pulling out, spotting an oncoming car and forcing their way back into the queue.

While their conduct cannot be condoned, it might be understood. At the head of this ever-lengthening convoy was a small car, steadily and determinedly sticking to 40mph.

Touchy subject

RICHMOND'S new town clerk, Miss Michelle Vincent, the first woman to fill the post, may have been saved from a spot of head scratching this week. As town councillors discussed the forthcoming mayor-making ceremony, one councillor asked if the clerk's ceremonial wig had been cleaned.

One well-known senior town and district councillor, obviously keen to preserve the local taxpayers' money, called out indignantly: "but didn't we have it cleaned last year ?", much to the amusement of colleagues.

Spectator hopes Miss Vincent proves to be head and shoulders above the rest, but fears she may have quite a bit of head scratching ahead of her.

One for the scouts

SPRINGCLEANING isn't what it used to be, if it still exists at all. The demise of coal fires, fitted carpets we take up at our peril and double glazing to keep out dusty draughts mean the cruel shafts of such spring sunshine as we've seen don't highlight winter's grime in the 21st century.

Along with spring cleaning used to go a general clearing out of cupboards and glory holes and, it seems, charities believe this is still so. Some households in Darlington last week received no fewer than four polybag requests for their surplus possessions.

Spectator's response to this unco-ordinated overkill was to set everything aside for the local scouts, whose jumble collections lose out to the polybag onslaught.