NATIONAL newspapers, in election mood, have been fascinated by the proximity of the parliamentary constituencies held by Messrs Blair and Hague and have realised the communities of Croft and Hurworth/Hurworth Place are the settlements closest to each other yet in separate seats.

Eager to draw stunning and eloquent comparisons between Mr Hague's leafy North Yorkshire acres and Mr Blair's North-East former mining heartland, they have contacted D&S Times' journalists for the local lowdown.

Disappointed to be told that both communities are equally pleasant Darlington dormitory villages, the national newspaper hacks have expressed astonishment and frustration in equal measure. How sad it is for lazy journalists that our region doesn't fit their stereotypical thinking.

Yorkshire ethnic

CHICKEN tikka masala has had its cover well and truly blown thanks to the Foreign Secretary. Far from being an "ethnic" dish, it is apparently a cod-Indian-style concoction tailored in this country for British palates.

Pizza, if we are to believe the food experts, owes more to the Italian immigrant community in the US than to their mother country. But the foodies could be wrong. A bakery window in the centre of Darlington is advertising "real North Yorkshire pizza".

Red wedge

ILLITERATE, or arrogant, campaigners for the main political parties have been thrusting their election publicity through a front door with a clearly engraved notice by the letterbox stating "no leaflets".

The Socialist Alliance, however, rolled its flyer neatly and wedged it into the catch on the front gate. Full marks for ingenuity, at least.

Going loco

THERE was amusement at the annual meeting of the North-East loco preservation group when a member drew attention to a newspaper cutting referring to "firefighters" on the footplate.

The last person a steam loco driver wants around is someone dedicated to putting out fires and the blame may well lie with computer software which flags up, or even auto-corrects, such sexist terms as "fireman". Fire person? Driver's mate? (Oh, no, sexist again). Coaler? Over to you, NELPG.