THE customer who complained about being called pet and love by staff in her local Tesco store is too easily offended.

Staff were not being over-familiar or sexist, just genuinely friendly. Most people expect, and welcome, local accents and expressions. And most of us listen to what people mean as well as what they say. Now Tesco says shoppers will only be referred to as sir or madam, which sounds cold, stilted, distant and insincere - the last thing anyone wants to hear at the end of the weekly shop.

NEW Labour supporter Geri Halliwell famously, and rather insensitively, wore a little crop t-shirt with the slogan I Love Me on one of her recent highly publicised charity jaunts to the Third World. That little t-shirt was revealing in more ways than one. Having done her bit to help the starving, she now admits that she herself has regular vitamin injections rather than proper meals to help maintain her slimline figure - something the undernourished in developing countries might find very difficult to comprehend. Now Geri is appearing on a Labour party political broadcast. Is it just a coincidence that, in the same week, she has a new album to promote?

MARKS and Spencer appears to have adopted the Geri Halliwell approach to charity fund-raising. The company has dropped plans to raise funds for a breast cancer charity with a bra sale promotion after it discovered that its commercial rival, House of Fraser, was supporting a sponsored walk in aid of the same charity. A spokesman said it had postponed the campaign because it would have coincided with "a promotion by one of our competitors". I know Marks and Spencer is in business to make money but it appears particularly hard-headed to place commercial interests ahead of its charitable commitment in this case. Anything which raises money for charity has to be a good thing, but does there have to be something in it for everyone in order for it to work? Whatever happened to old-fashioned altruism?

I FIND it distressing that a woman of Carol Vorderman's maturity and intelligence allows others to dictate how she should and shouldn't dress on a night out. After making all the front pages at last year's British Academy Television Awards pictured in a revealing blue strapless mini dress, she admitted that this year her bosses told her to tone her clothing down. Wearing a classic, full-length ball gown, she confessed: "I was told to look more demure and cover up." Come on Carol. Last year you did your bit for older women everywhere, showing that you could still look incredibly sexy at 40. You looked confident and happy. Do us all a favour, tell your bosses where to put their ball gowns and wear what you want.

SEX And The City star Sarah Jessica Parker says she is scared of having children because it could harm her career. "It's hard to toss it all aside for a year and have children and see what happens when you come back," she says. "I understand the desire to adopt and just to keep it going." I'm sure the 36-year-old, married for four years to actor Matthew Broderick, is right not to take the plunge and procreate, for I pity any child born to such a self-obsessed, hard-hearted and uptight mother.

I CAN understand why Catherine Zeta-Jones's granny was baffled by the news that her beautiful 31-year-old granddaughter had undergone plastic surgery. "She has always looked gorgeous just as she is," she said. I agree. Looking at the photographs of a post-op Catherine pictured with Michael Douglas this week, I couldn't help thinking of a much easier way to rid herself of a pile of ugly wrinkles - ditch the husband.

Published: 18/05/01