HAVE you noticed hordes of anxious, but determined, women out stripping hedges, lopping down branches, gathering twigs and berries and filling bags with leaves recently?

Armed with tell-tale glue guns, cans of gold and silver spray paints, they are, you've guessed it, readers of home style magazines. And in the countdown to Christmas, these glossy magazines appear to have one aim in mind - to drive us all demented.

This year, they implore us to make decorations which are natural, frustratingly difficult, fiddly and time-consuming to create and, of course, utterly pointless. A bit like last year, but there are enough subtle differences to ensure you can't use your old ones again.

Everything from berried ivy to artichokes, blue thistles, eucalyptus leaves and lilac freesias are used to make garlands to twine round stairways, for festive wreaths and to stick onto cards and place settings.

We are told to even glue embroidery glass beads all over the leaves to give the effect of water droplets - because, obviously, we do need to find more things to do to fill our time at this time of year.

Determined to help create the traditional Christmas atmosphere - frazzled women, at the end of their tether, pulling their hair out, that sort of thing - these glossies have come up with hosts of other totally impractical ideas to fill their festive pages. Here are a few of the best...

*Spray your fruit with edible silver paint. (Where do you buy edible paint? And will anyone want to eat silver fruit?)

*Wrap your cushions in pretty bows to make them look like Christmas presents. (Why stop at cushions, how about chairs, tables and cupboards too?)

*Using craft wire, good quality crystal beads, wire cutters and glue, make your own crystal snowflake tree decoration. (Do you think granny would mind if we use her necklace?)

*Don't just stick the Christmas tree in a bucket, make a tree box. (The complicated joinery instructions do helpfully add: "If you're planning on buying a large tree, measure the diameter of the trunk before you make the box". I wouldn't have thought of that).

*Use a Polaroid camera to snap friends and family as they arrive, then cut the pictures into tags and tie with ribbon round a cracker to make place settings. (Do they think we're totally bonkers?)

*Old wire ornaments looking a little tired? Get out your glue gun and cover them with lichen. Repeat the theme with chains of dried rosebuds. Drape garlands on door handles and chair backs. (Is anything that doesn't move safe?)

*For a kitsch look, make your own crackers, cover with fake fur and decorate with beads strung onto wire. (All this effort for something people are going to rip apart and throw away?)

*Keep children occupied by getting them to thread popcorn onto string for tree garlands. (Half will be eaten before reaching the tree. The rest will end up trampled into the carpet).

*Wrap oxidised copper wire round test tubes and tie them to your tree, top up the tubes with water to display fresh flowers (Haven't we got enough to do?)

On the other hand, you could buy your decorations from the shops, sit down and enjoy a few glasses of wine by the fire instead... Merry Christmas.

With thanks to Ideal Home; Your Home; Real Homes, House Beautiful, Good Homes and Home magazines.