How belatedly they come to curling. While the rest of the media finally tests the ice, the Backtrack column not only cast the first stone in November 1990, but hastened off to Kelso to watch the English ladies champions in energetic action - hammer, it might be said, and curling tongs.

Kelso ice rink was used six and a half days a week by curlers, on Sunday afternoons by ice hockey players. That there were only two English ladies teams seemed hardly relevant.

"They brush the ice," the column observed, "with the dervish vigour of Nora Batty after a dust storm."

The English captain was Newcastle-born Joan Reed, among the team members Margaret Martin, who (sadly) proves no relation to the much-celebrated Rhona.

Joan still lives near Berwick, is still passionately involved - "curling away like mad" - believes, as well she might, that Britain's gold in Salt Lake City will give the sport huge momentum in England.

Already, ice work if you can get it, the English Curling Association is appointing its first full-time development officer.

"Even before last week we had become more professional, had attracted more interest and slightly more funding," she says.

Her son represents England juniors, her daughter Scotland. Joan herself is now particularly involved with wheelchair curling, and coached the English side - including a chap from Ashington, where "curl" was hitherto believed to be something you threw on the fire back - which recently came fifth in the European championships in Switzerland.

"The players tell me that it has completely opened up their lives," she says.

Joan's particularly keen to recruit women in wheelchairs, but will enthusiastically talk curling to anyone. She's on 01289 382550 or 07740 721125.

A victim of warmer winters, even in the 1920s, Darlington once had a man-made curling pond at Hundens, where Eastbourne School now stands.

The game had been popularised by 19th century Scottish migrants seeking work; several natural ponds were also used, cold weather permitting.

Darlington Curling Club began in 1879, when severe winters meant that enthusiasts could skate for miles along the Tees.

As our splendid photograph of Hundens pond shows, it remained popular into the 20th century - until the mercury became upwardly mobile.

Now curling is necessarily an indoor sport: a thaw point, if ever.

Their euphoria over Roy Allen's eight goals in a match barely subsided, West Auckland find themselves on a fizzer - for fielding a team without the number eight shirt.

"It just went missing after that match," says West general manager Stuart Alderson. "We know it wasn't Roy, but otherwise it's a complete mystery."

The matter will be reported to the Albany Northern League management committee on Thursday - West's number up, undoubtedly.

With an improvised number eight shirt, West Auckland played Seaham Red Star on Saturday, Allen adding three more to his total in a 5-0 win.

The Non League Paper also reported the following day that "former Southampton and Darlington star" Neil Maddison had gone close for Seaham, which would have been a surprise to the 3,000 who swore they'd seen him in Quakers' colours the same afternoon.

The surreal Neil, and the reporter concerned pleads the first amendment - "bloody sub-editors" - was actually the former Chester-le-Street and South Shields player Neil Maddison.

Unlike his namesake, said to be on £2,000 a week at Feethams, he gets the price of his petrol home.

Conversation at West Auckland also turned to the Linacre family. John played 211 Football League games for Hartlepool United between 1977-83, his brother Phil made 82 appearances in the same colours and, usually, in the same team.

It was Phil Linacre who scored seven, some say nine, for Bishop Auckland in a Durham Challenge Cup tie against Ferryhill John Dee.

What though of Billy "Legs" Linacre, their dad?

Though he never scored seven against Ferryhill John Dee, Billy made 75 Manchester City appearances in the old First Division between 1947-49 and also played for Chesterfield, Middlesbrough - 31 games between 1949-51 - Hartlepool and Mansfield.

Former Bishop Auckland chairman Steve Newcombe recalled that comedian Les Dawson's autobiography not only revealed that Billy was his all-time favourite City player but dubbed him The Flying Ironing Board, on account of his slender physique.

Others insisted that "Legs" Linacre was on the verge of England selection until breaking a leg while watched by FA representatives.

He would be 77 now, may still be in Middlesbrough. Anyone got a wrinkle on the Flying Ironing Board?

Brendan Foster, good crack so they reckon, wasn't just the principal speaker at Wear Valley Council's civic dinner on Friday but successfully bid £110 for a signed Newcastle United shirt. Since times are hard at the Stadium of Light, the Sunderland shirt raised just £40 - £9 less than a fiercely-contested Tow Law Town lapel badge.

Fame at last for Hails of Hartlepool, or so the gentleman himself too modestly suggests. He and Harry Laverick have been made life members of the Hartlepool and District Bowling Association.

Bowls, as readers may recall, is a sort of temperate curling. Ron's citation speaks of "services to bowls across the community for many years."

Their Patch, it's fair to say, is pretty chuffed, too. "I suspect," says Ron, "that he thinks it means he can do whatever dogs do on bowling greens under the league's jurisdiction without fear of reprisal."

Ron's services to bowls - as opposed to the Backtrack column - include writing the weekly notes, usual fee, for the Hartlepool Mail.

He was appointed by Arthur Pickering - then the Mail's sports editor, now on Tyne Tees Television - who reckons his best ever quote came from former Hartlepool manager Billy Horner.

As usual, Pool were skint. Not for the first time, bailiffs arrived at the ground but - perhaps because there was nothing else worth impounding - removed the goal posts.

Arthur asked the manager what he was going to do about the fourth division game next day. "We'll have to put our coats down," said Billy.

Still at the Victoria Ground (as was), we carried a photograph a couple of weeks back of the fresh-faced Brian Clough - the Hartlepools United manager in 1965-66 - riding a bike with straight handle bars.

Probably it was a Palm Beach, we'd guessed, but who made them? Some supposed Triumph, others Raleigh. Chris Willsden in Darlington - Raleighing to the cause as it were - went so far as to contact the archives department at Nottinghamshire County Council. Whilst a triumph undoubtedly, the Palm Beach was one of Raleigh's.

THE first black Subbuteo player (Backtrack, February 22) was Laurie Cunningham - by special request of West Bromwich Albion fans.

A gentleman in Stockton also claims that Blackpool's South African-born winger Bill Perry, capped three times for England, was the first black player to appear in an FA Cup final - not Albert Johanneson as we suggested - but these are shades probably best left to the past.

Brian Shaw in Shildon today seeks the identity of the footballer who, in 1986, established the record for the shortest appearance in the World Cup finals.

We return, long and short, on Friday.

Published: Tuesday, February 26, 2002