THE Queen Mother was a canny old soul. Photographers who covered her sallies into the North-East were always impressed by the way she managed to look so natural while, in fact, stage-managing everything.

Take the Royal wave. A wave is a movement of the hand, but the Queen Mother's was a static wave. She held it, perfectly still, for three seconds which gave the photographers just time enough to frame their pictures.

She also always crooked her elbow at 90 degrees which meant that her hand was far enough away from her face not to obscure it or the brim of her hat.

Her hats were important to her. They were her trademark. They were also a photographer's dream for they never shrouded her face. Their brims were up-turned so that no shadows fell onto her beaming smile, and her veils were always see-through so that the photographers could capture the sparkle of her blue eyes.

She always stage-managed the perfect pose for the perfect picture. The perfect professional.

But no matter how much you stage manage your own performance, you are always relying on other people to play ball. And as anyone who has ever had any dealings with a newspaper photographer will tell you, they are a law unto themselves. That, though, is something for John North to delve into on the opposite page.

A COUPLE of weeks ago we mischievously turned around the new £2m One NorthEast advertising slogan "Here.Now." so that it read "NowHere". Now then, we learn that the slogan was originally going to be "Right Here Right Now" but it was edited down when someone pointed out that Tony Blair, the MP for Sedgefield, would be unlikely to endorse such slogan. Mr Blair is often criticised for being the least left-ward looking Labour leader in history, but actively supporting "Right Here Right Now" would have been too much for even him to countenance.

THESE, according to an American newspaper called the Monterey Herald Sun, are the best headlines that appeared in US papers last year. If you read them correctly, they would all make fascinating reading:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

War Dims Hope for Peace

Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.