The Frontier House (C4); London's Burning (ITV); Dan Dare: Pilot Of The Future (C5)

THE bitching on Big Brother is going to look like a vicar's tea party compared to The Frontier House, the US version of Channel 4's hit series The 1940s/Edwardian Country House.

The feuding began before the three families headed way out west to live in the Montana wilderness for five months, building their homes and facing the hardships endured by pioneer families in 1883.

The danger is it'll end in more than tears as they've been given shotguns. This was a problem for trigger-happy Gordon Clune. Modern laws make it illegal for him to hunt wild animals.

His moaning got to soon-to-be-neighbour Karen Glenn. "If Gordon brings up one more issue about shotguns, I'm going to shoot him," she confided.

There is still killing to be done - of chickens, for food. The families congregated around the chopping block as their feathered friend had its head chopped off with an axe. "I think it will be fun to watch," said one ghoulish child.

The Glenns also have a sick cow, something they're not taking well despite Karen's previous reassurance that they're "so adventurous - I could have said we're going to the moon and they'd have gone".

The women have two outfits to wear. Mind you, there are nine layers. A woman weighs another 12lbs with all her clothes on.

Adrienne Clune not only doesn't like the fashion but is horrified to discover she won't be allowed to wear make-up. She couldn't have looked more distraught if you'd told her that her legs were being amputated, even when it was explained that only people in the theatre or bar room floozies wore slap. "If they'd only let me wear make-up, I'd look twice as good," she moaned, modelling her new clothes.

That was the least of her worries as the wagon train set off on the journey to their new home. One set of horses got spooked and bolted, almost running her down and throwing son Conor off the wagon. The Frontier House is going to be a bumpy ride.

Comic hero Dan Dare seems to have turned into a cross between Pierce Brosnan (the chiselled looks) and Hugh Grant (the floppy quiff) on the journey from page to TV animation. The series itself reminded me of Thunderbirds, which is no bad thing.

The computer animation makes the characters look in need of dental work but otherwise this is stirring stuff.

London's Burning returned, its makers mindful that long-running series need to prove themselves with ITV bosses these days or, like Peak Practice, risk being axed.

As soon as long-serving fireman Recall said, "I'm going to have a long and happy retirement", you knew he was doomed. Before the end we'd had a well-staged rescue of a couple trapped underwater in a car, an armed robbery and the obligatory fire.

As for Recall, don't call him - because he can't answer any more.