Things that we could quite happily live without

One thing that won't be on my Christmas present list is a personal submarine. Not because I lack the ten million dollars to buy it - which I do - but because it would be as much use to me as blotting paper underwater.

The sub was introduced by the makers of Spend, Spend, Spend as they tried to show that consumer happiness is an invention of the advertising people, who convince us we need things that we could quite happily live without.

This is a variation of the old saying that money can't buy you happiness, although I rather go along with whoever said it may not buy you happiness, but you can be miserable in comfort.

The programme hoped to illustrate that you can live a good life without the trappings of wealth by forcing two people to abandon their normal, affluent lifestyles for a while. Katy is in PR, taking home a six-figure salary (a fact that will surely have people queuing round the block to join that particular industry) and admits: "I earn a good salary and enjoy spending it."

She was packed off to a self-sufficient community in Wales where Tony exists on £15 a week living expenses. Kate arrived in her Porsche to spend the weekend with him and his frugal friends. They maintained they were very happy having nothing. Their visitor took more convincing, sleeping badly because it was so quiet and holding her nose when shown the organic loo.

Even Tony needs some things, such as planning permission for the ecologically-sound hut he has built. Having failed to get the necessary go-ahead, he now faces having to tear it down. Then he proudly showed Kate an outdoor loo he's built. The contents are returned to the land and Tony gets big raspberries.

"I bet you do," said Kate, unsure how much longer she could take the simple life.

Celebrity hairdresser Stuart failed to curb his luxurious tastes too. His home includes a half-a-million pound home cinema system just like the one Hollywood director Martin Scorsese has. Stuart failed the challenge not to buy anything for a week, and didn't look happy. If he can afford them, why be miserable by depriving himself? It's a fair point, surely.

Love rather than money motivated most of those glimpsed in 100 Years... 100 Passions, another of those top 100 countdown programmes. This one about the most romantic movies ever originated from the American Film Institute, although our own Honor Blackman was recruited to front the show.

Half the fun of these programmes is disagreeing with the results. Is Casablanca a more romantic movie than Gone With The Wind? Would ordinary cinemagoers, and not the so-called experts who compiled the list, ever have included Unbearable Lightness Of Being in the list?

Still, we were reminded of good chat-up lines such as Working Girl Melanie Griffiths saying, "I have a head for business and a body for sin", and Kathleen Turner telling William Hurt in Body Heat, "You're not too smart - I like that in a man".

And perhaps most perceptive of all, Dr Ruth saw a brooding Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire and declared: "He probably doesn't need Viagra."

Published: 28/04/2003