FA's new home a smart move for Square dealers

The hicks usually meet in the sticks, most memorably when Fleet, in Hampshire, was deemed a "central location" for a 10am start and most frequently at the University of Warwick, which does a good line in lunches.

Once the FA was synonymous with Lancaster Gate. The Football Association didn't act, Lancaster Gate did; Graham Kelly (or someone) didn't summon a meeting of the disciplinary procedures standing sub-committee, Lancaster Gate did. Now authority has been transferred to Soho Square.

The square's between Oxford Street and Greek Street, said in 1720 to be "well inhabited by nobility and gentry" and no less well-heeled today. The tabloids probably call it "leafy".

Casanova's mistress lived there, Charles II's illegitimate son would have laid his head there had they not chopped it off first, Messrs Crosse and Blackwell moved in in 1840 and have ten o'clock tested ever since.

Now the Square dealers are almost all business-orientated, with a little central park which posts bye-laws about not feeding the pigeons or drinking from the water feature and a funny little folly which looked a little bit like the Little House on the Prairie at Stanley United.

Probably there was a rule about not playing football, too, but the print got a bit small after that.

The FA's new neighbours include Twentieth Century Fox, Barclays Bank and St Patrick's Roman Catholic Church, all clearly identified. Football's rulers, conversely, hide behind the stark number 25, apparently lest any aggrieved party be tempted to put a casey through the window.

Inside all is swish, state of the articulate, no blood on the carpet despite recent well-publicised redundancies. Most of the top brass had themselves been summoned to Lake Geneva - somewhere near Fleet, probably - to meet UEFA over the wretched international affair at Sunderland, but there was still a chap in the foyer dusting a model of the new Wembley.

It might have been his full-time job; we were unable to ascertain.

The meeting was in the media suite which, perhaps symbolically, is in the basement. There were biscuits, not chocolate; cups, not china.

It wouldn't do to reveal what went on for fear of flagellation from Soho. Suffice that as it was May 1, we were warned to watch out for returning anti-capitalist rioters in the vicinity of Tottenham Court Road tube station.

There was no unrest at all. It probably comes later.

The last big match at Feethams, yesterday's Albany Northern League Cup final, proved a splendid occasion and a great match. The crowd was so big, they'd to open an extra turnstile.

The commemorative programme also went well, the last for any game at Darlington's historic home. Copies are still available from this office, however, and for only ten bob.

Shildon's "golden goal" victory, 3-2 over Billingham Synthonia, may have been particularly memorable for victorious defender Stephen Tobin, known to team mates as "Stinker" because of his refusal to take a shower after matches.

Stinker, a man who prefers his privacy, was ceremonially thrown into the bath to mark the sweet smell of success.

The winners didn't just receive the Northern League Cup, their first for exactly 50 years, but a framed print of Mackenzie Thorpe's painting "Goooaaaal" which forms part of his touring "Game of Life" exhibition.

Mackenzie will appropriately inscribe it during a visit to his native North-East at the weekend.

Sadly, not all Shildon lads got to spend the rest of the day in celebration. George Reynolds, a generous host who thought the game far better than many he'd seen in the third division this season, had to be back at the new stadium and would be working until 11pm.

Others had columns to write, but both of us could afford a little smile... Dammit, who should we have bumped into in the pub on Sunday night but 61-year-old John Peverell, veteran of 465 Darlington games and second only to Ron Greener in the all-time appearance list. He also played a bit for Shildon.

On Saturday he'd attended the great Quakers reunion, a wonderful occasion, said John. Sunday was the real ale festival at The Crown in Manfield, between Richmond and Darlington, though he was unable to test the Feethams Farewell, brewed for the valedictions by the Darwin Brewery in Sunderland.

Crying nostalgically into their beer, the Darlo fans had long since drunk the barrel dry.

Tow Law Town's presentation on Friday was overshadowed both by a horrid night and by Graeme Forster's resignation as team manager over what might best be termed internal difficulties.

The Doc has kicked around with the column almost since it began - first at humble Hamsteels, then Evenwood Town and finally, ferrously, forging at the Ironworks Ground.

Many others were noticeable only in absence. Among those who did turn out was 14-year-old Sam Gordon, five years ago the Lawyers' plucky mascot for the FA Vase final at Wembley and now Middlesbrough Under 15s 6ft 2in goalkeeper shortly to leave for a high flying tournament in America.

Joe Robson, who collapsed at a match and died soon afterwards, was posthumously and affectionately named supporter of the year; Jeff Young was player of the year. The "clubman" award went to assistant secretary Steve Moralee, still heavily bandaged three weeks after trapping his hand in a spiteful security fence and having to have a bit of his shoulder grafted onto the end of his thumb.

It means he can't leave thumb prints - "brilliant if I was a burglar," said Steve, though the career change is unlikely.

The poor feller is a polliss.

One of those rare questions which stumped everyone. The post-war sportsman who won an FA Cup winner's medal and a country cricket championship medal in the same year (Backtrack, May 2) was Jim Standen.

Standen was West Ham's goalkeeper in the 1964 final and subsequently helped bowl Worcestershire to the county title.

Since Ron Greener has most Darlington appearances and John Peverell second, readers may today care to suggest who's in third place - just two behind Pev.

Long playing as ever, the column returns on Friday.

Published: 06/05/2003