SOME parents at a North-East school have complained nine and ten-year-old pupils are too young to have lessons on death.

But death has a way of rearing its ugly head when we least expect it and, sadly, the decision about when we introduce our children to it may be out of our hands.

The County Durham junior school head teacher who has invited an undertaker into class and is encouraging youngsters to discuss death is brave and daring. Some parents have objected, which is hardly surprising. Because, in this country, it is a subject many adults still struggle to cope and come to terms with.

Just talk to someone recently bereaved and discover how many times friends or neighbours have avoided the subject or have crossed the street rather than stop to talk. Children hear death discussed in hushed and fearful tones. As a result, it is shrouded in mystery.

It is different in parts of Ireland, where wakes are lively social gatherings, open to the whole community, with the body of the deceased on display. I remember my friends at the Catholic primary school all being taken to the chapel to file past the body of the local priest and pay their respects. Death, they were told, is a part of life.

Tanfield Lea Junior School head teacher Kay Hemmings is not advocating anything quite so bold. But she is helping children learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one and, hopefully, how to help comfort others who suffer bereavement. We all know death is the one certainty in life yet, still, we are ill-prepared for it. What a shame Miss Hemmings doesn't offer lessons for adults too. I suspect we need them more.

NEWCASTLE cabbie Bob Frazer, who scooped £14m on the Lottery, says he is not moving from his former council house. Bob, just back from jetting around the world, says of his three-bed terrace: "I am not selling up. I am quite happy to stay here." I give him three months.

DAVID Beckham's dad says his son's leaving Britain has broken his heart. "I can't afford to fly to Madrid every week," he says. Beckham isn't the first grown-up son who has to move away from home for work. What he needs is support, not the added burden of a whinging father who hasn't got a life of his own.

ANDREW Motion's poem to commemorate Prince William's 21st birthday was almost more laughable than the fact police let a bearded fruitcake dressed in a pink frock into the party. The poet laureate's verses are a cringe-worthy middle-aged attempt at rap:

Better stand back,

Here's an age attack,

But the second in line,

Is dealing with it fine.

I think I prefer Eminem.

WHAT wonderful times we live in, said the commentators, when children will queue outside bookstores through the night to buy the latest Harry Potter. Yet the fact we were able to wander into our local Safeway at breakfast time and buy three copies from huge stacks marked at half price will leave most of those children thinking they were fools to fall for all the hype. Not so wonderful as we thought, then.