CILLA is the one performer who still qualifies as a Black and White minstrel. Born Priscilla White, she changed her name to Black and has become the Queen Mother of Liverpool.

Cilla In Black And White (C4, Thursday) took the former pop star and Blind Date presenter back for a rare visit to the streets of Merseyside where she was mobbed by good-natured scousers. The adulation made her admit that she doesn't want to think about a time when she isn't famous.

According to the experts, Cilla, 60, shot to fame because her plain appearance meant she was no threat on the boyfriend front. In fact her wisest move was marrying baker Bobby Willis, who had no qualifications, and allowing him to manage her career.

His death in 1999 has left her contemplating a return to the charts and she's in the studio working on an album. Anyone who had a heart would tell her to jump aboard the Shirley Bassey-Tom Jones route of constant touring.

Cilla's appearance on Channel 4 - it's a true surprise that the BBC and ITV neglected her 40th anniversary in showbiz - stopped my wife in her tracks after she'd dismissed the night's viewing "as like paint drying". After speculating about how many nose jobs Cilla has had, she said: "I don't know whether it was a mistake for Cilla to appear in a basque at her age, it was for charity after all."

Earlier in the week she'd loudly explained the need for her mobile stereo and headphones as Design Wars (ITV1, Saturday) took home makeovers to It's A Knockout meets Changing Rooms level. Only Kevin McCloud of Grand Designs (C4, Wednesday) raises his eyebrows more over sums of around £180,000 being splashed out on open plan extravaganzas. In the case of Design Wars, five extra-normal Nottingham homes are being gutted by five international designers with £30,000 each to spend. Indian competitor Sandeep Khosla has such an incredible toothy smile that I'm sure he and partner Abu Jani will win because you just can't argue with someone who has more incisors than Cilla. My wife rates UK entrant Kathryn Ireland as "completely batty" and shuddered at skinny Italian Roberto Lucifero who loves cooking in the nude and outside ablutions. All we need now is Stuart Hall shouting "look at the Germans" to ensure this series reaches its full potential.

Much relied on Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen to patch up the cracks as the new presenter of Changing Rooms (BBC1, Monday) operating as a design know-it-all with £750 to spend per room. Sadly, LLB maintained his reputation for reducing homeowners to tears as Anna Ryder Richardson produced a pink, chintz creation with framed saucy underwear on the wall. "Give him his due, he did try to warn Anna," said my wife who was more amazed at the efforts of designer Gordon Whistance as he tried to build a column of instant foam around a lamp standard without considering the law of gravity. "It just looks like dog pooh," she ventured.

However, that title applied equally to Carla (ITV1, Monday) as the top-rated commercial channel struggles to find a drama to help it out of a crisis. Perhaps, Cilla could try acting.

Published: 20/09/2003