NOW the Kat's out of the bag that the Slater sister prefers Alfie to Andy, she's turning her thoughts to the wedding barely a week after her last one.

That one didn't happen, of course. You can't help wondering if she'll have any better luck getting Alfie down the aisle.

She tells him she doesn't care where they get married, as long as the wedding is on Christmas Day. This is, apparently, a Slater family tradition - just like jilting the bridegroom at the altar, sleeping with the best man, and having a good punch-up and throw-up at the reception.

Elsewhere in EastEnders (BBC1), bully boy Phil Mitchell is having a bad week. Dirty Den and Mini-Dirty Den frame him for armed robbery, Lisa is ready to make off with baby Louise, and his marriage to Kate the manicurist hits the rocks. And I bet he forgets to set the video to record Blue Peter too.

The triangle involving Dan, Ash and Shirley becomes complicated. As if anyone's interested. They can all disappear in the Bermuda Triangle for all I care.

The police in Soapland are on the lookout for an escaped criminal in Coronation Street (ITV1). Jim McDonald becomes a fugitive and heads for Blackpool, not to ride the donkeys on the beach but have a stern word with Mrs McDonald about her short skirts and new boyfriend.

Bet Lynch/Gilmore/Whatever is also on beach patrol with a new relationship to sort out. She has her eye on a millionaire and her hand on his wallet.

The whole of Weatherfield appears to be converging on the Lancashire seaside town for the Newton and Ridley brewery celebrations. Ashley the butcher and Claire the nanny are there to meet up with Fred, I say, meet up with Fred, on a daytrip. Day turns to night when they get stranded and are forced to stay over. Will that be separate rooms or will Mr and Mrs Smith be sharing a double?

Dreary Deirdre has a date too, although she hopes she's mistaken about the identity of the man with whom she has an assignation. Friend Bev has been talking about a charming pilot named Jon. That rings a few bells with Deirdre as it was the name and occupation of the con man whose actions led to her spending time behind bars (prison, not the Rovers).

Albert Square's Kat should pay attention to what happens to Katie in Emmerdale (ITV1). She's planning her wedding to Andy (Sugden, not the Walford gangster who was Kat's fiance) but rather foolishly sleeps with his brother Robert.

Charity, mysteriously allowed out on bail on a murder charge, turns her pretty little hand to blackmail as she tries to get money out of Marlon. He's desperate to stop returning wife Tricia finding out about his one night stand with Charity.

Published: 20/11/2003