IT'S a good job that there isn't a swear box on the touchline at Willington Under-15s' games.

Because I would have been asking my bosses for an advance on my wages had I been paying £1 a time last Sunday.

For 30 minutes of our League Cup tie with St Josephs, we were flaming rubbish.

Well, I was using rather more choice language than that at the time, but I'll keep it clean here for the benefit of my younger readers.

As one parent said: "They're just hoofing it."

I'm not sure if that's a technical term for how we were playing, but his analysis was spot on.

The flowing football we'd produced at Birtley Town just seven days earlier was eschewed in favour of a Route One approach that was not working.

Anyway, after half-an-hour I'd had enough of simply telling the lads where they were going wrong, so I took affirmative action and made a substitution.

By half time, we'd gone from being level at 1-1 and toiling to leading 3-1 and cruising.

Another tactical masterstroke from Willington's rookie coach, I think.

I still gave the players a bit of a rollocking at the interval, and to be fair they picked up where they'd left off at the end of the first half.

In the end, we won 7-1 - not a bad result, I reckon, given that we only played for 50 minutes against a team joint top of the First Division.

We also managed to have a bit of fun in the dying stages, waving forward our captain and centre-back Michael Stothard for the final ten minutes.

He usually scores one goal a season - and sure enough, he managed to meet that quota on Sunday.

The next round presents us with the opportunity of avenging last month's 5-0 Premier Division defeat to Redby, when a virus decimated our squad.

The quarter-final takes place on December 7. With League Cup fever already sweeping Willington, we're counting down the days.

CONGRATULATIONS and commiserations to Rob Lee, who was nominated for the npower Leading Light award at last night's Local Heroes shindig at Tall Trees.

Rob, who coaches Willington's Under-17 and Under-18 teams, didn't win the accolade.

But he still deserves a welter of praise for his efforts down the years that have helped make Willington Youth the club it is now.

I FEEL I must apologise to Andrew Robinson, Willington's centre-back/right-back/left-back.

He complained last week after I wrote in this column that he was 3ft 6ins.

I'm happy to set the record straight and confirm that Andrew is in fact 3ft 8ins.

Sorry for any distress caused.

Speaking of Andrew, he must think I'm as green as I'm cabbage-looking.

I went up to him after last Sunday's game to congratulate him on his performance - he was one of the few in the team who didn't take half-an-hour to start playing.

But I was stopped in my tracks when he pointed at some ugly stains on his shirt and said: "I'm covered in dog muck."

Five minutes later, a now topless Andrew walked over to me, waved his shirt in my direction and asked: "Will you wash this for me?"

I managed to stifle a laugh for just long enough to tell him thanks, but no thanks!