DEPRESSED, dissatisfied and a downright droopy-drawers, but never dangerous.

That was the verdict on Peter Davison as Davies The Last Detective (ITV1, last night). The former Doctor Who probably got the job because his surname also starts with a D and saved time on typing up scripts that didn't particularly make any sense.

"I don't know why he's supposed to be dangerous and he seems to be the last detective because nobody else does any work," said my senior sleuth at home as she surveyed the evidence.

As a dyed-in-the-wool whoddunit fan and a Tristan Farnham follower, when Mr Davison was an All Creatures Great And Small charmer, that is a fairly tough interrogation from my good lady.

After a full investigation she concluded: "Everyone else is horrible to him and he puts up with it, nothing was ever explained and his friend Mod (comic Sean Hughes) was just a big weirdo."

Perhaps this is the future of all critically-acclaimed comedy-drama. Film an exasperating hero through a foggy focus, let the audience make up their own minds about the protagonists and threaten to bring Ant and Dec back from the jungle to do the PR if people aren't satisfied.

To be fair, with everyone from Frost to the X-Files currently running around on TV solving the mysteries of the universe this adaptation of the Leslie Thomas novels has to be D for dissimilar to be noticed.

The fact that the plots return the powers of law and order to the days when cops "fitted up" criminals won't have Home Secretary David Blunkett sleeping soundly in his bed.

Yes, I know the audience is supposed to be able to tell fact from fiction. But we've just watched the most successful 'charity' I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here (ITV1, Monday), so tell me what good cause was winner Kerry McFadden raising money for?

I checked the itv.com/celebrity website for details and left none the wiser. We're made aware that the TV bosses earned £20m from around 16m fans and the celebs are counting up the millions in potential earnings for once flagging careers, but the charity ker-ching lacks bush telegraph credibility.

As a country we seem to be close to cancelling Christmas if it means giving without any sign of reward.

Perhaps that's just being churlish after the warm glow that was Ronnie Barker - A Bafta Tribute (BBC1, Saturday).

It was a chance to remember some highlights from the bigger R's career, with the smaller R (Mr Corbett) poking his head above the podium as host. Gene Wilder's tribute was a little obscure while it's somewhat odd to see celebs like Peter Kay and Rob Brydon laughing in the audience one moment and shuffling out on stage as a contributor the next.

Now 74, Ronnie B looked much frailer and paler than the ebullient Arkwright, who made stammering more of an attraction than an affliction.

It was still a delight to see him back and to be reminded why most sitcoms are getting it wrong these days. But you don't need to be the last detective to work that one out.

Published: 14/02/2004