On TV

No Going Back: Chaos At The Castle (C4)

THINGS are getting desperate in the home makeover world, both at home and abroad.

Too Close For Comfort attempts to wring yet more mileage out of doing up people's homes by offering a fresh twist on the format. The basis is that rising property prices put bigger houses out of the reach of some families, so this programme shows how to make the best of what they've got.

First up were the Byfields - father, mother and two teenage sons. The trouble was there was little brotherly love between Martin and Jamie. They argued every time they were in the same room - something of a problem as they shared one of the two bedrooms in the house. Imagine the friction with two growing lads squeezed into a 12ft by 6ft bedroom. One fight led to one brother pushing the other through a window. You felt sorry for their mother Debbie, having to contend with squabbling sons as well as constant pain following a road accident.

Enter architect John Weir to create two spaces out of one bedroom so the boys could have individual rooms. But the programme's secret weapon was agony aunt Anna Raeburn, who gave Martin and Jamie a good talking to. She got them to observe a 24-hour truce once a week, during which time they didn't argue.

And that was pretty much it. One month later it was reported that the boys hadn't had a major argument since getting their own rooms and were talking to each other rather than trying to kill each other.

Chaos At The Castle, the subtitle of No Going Back, rather gave the game away. Not that a series about Brits battling to do up a foreign property would be worth watching unless disasters galore occurred.

Lawyers Patrick and Colette bought a 17th century chateau - 25 rooms, turrets, two lakes, four orchards, 86 acres of land - with the intention of converting it into a luxury hotel.

As usual with people in TV programmes embarking on such massive ventures, they had no experience in the hotel game but hoped the project would enable them to spend more time bonding as a family. Some hope.

A French builder to look on in amusement at the antics of the foolish British is another requirement of a series like this. Step forward Monsieur Albert to pour cold water - the only source of which was a spring in the garden - on their scheme. A crumbling exterior, rotting wood, a wiring system pre-dating World War Two and drainage trouble were only a few of the problems identified.

That's without the four days of torrential rain, the heaviest for years, that left the place under water. The bright side was that they'd got their first booking. If only they had somewhere habitable to put the guests.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Arc, Stockton

TWO years ago, a bunch of North-East state school kids went to see some Shakespeare plays. There they heard words that had a magic unimagined.

For not only did those Stockton teenagers form their own company, Arden Theatre, but last year staged Julius Caesar at The Arc to critical acclaim.

That they did so on their own - really, truly without any adult help - was impressive; that they did it well, amazing.

But, believe me, this year's production is better. It is so good that it is hard to convince fellow adults that a theatre company largely made up of 16 to 18-year-olds have done this so well.

The first thing to say is that they actually make a Shakespeare comedy funny. All right, a big part of the nearly full audience was clearly made up of family members - one lady was (quite rightly) bursting with pride so much she started clapping alone. But you could tell the laughs were genuine. Jokes were even made about the actors' youth. "I can't play a woman," says one actor, "I've a beard," pause, "coming!"

The stage choreography, including fast moving moments of dancing, fighting and prancing, were excellent. The costumes, especially the famous ass's head of the play, looked great and a long way from a typical amateur production. The acting was good and it would be hard and unfair to pick anyone out except, perhaps, Daniel Hill, who played Bottom. Robert Icke, director and sixth former, who was the first to acknowledge the Herculean efforts of his friends who also had to find the money to stage the play, should be congratulated.

See this play and see the magic.

l Until Saturday. Tickets (01642) 525199.

Chris Webber