The Northern Echo's new parenting columnist Anne Sutton runs the nannying agency, Internannies, and has 30 years experience in childcare. She tells Women's Editor Lindsay Jennings why good routine is the key to successful parenting.

IT IS somewhat comforting to know that Anne Sutton's own children were not always perfect. Sitting in her warm family home in Sedgefield, she laughs as she recalls how first-born, Claire, lulled her into thinking she was a fantastic mum by being a lovely, quiet baby who fed well and slept for hours.

But that illusion, she says, was shattered when second child Jennie came along.

"My first child was so placid that I thought I was a great mum," says Anne, who runs the nannying agency, Internannies, based in South Shields. "But then Jennie came along and she was a nightmare. She would cry all night and even when she was feeding she was never still. It just goes to show that what works for one child doesn't necessarily work with another, that you're evolving all the time as a parent."

Claire, now 27, works as a solicitor in London, while Jennie, 25, works for a theatre company - which ironically involves late nights and "eating on the run".

The personalities of Anne's other children also shone through at an early age. Kate, 21, showed an early caring side and is now a veterinary student at Edinburgh University, while 18-year-old Tom is a keen sportsman and is studying at a tennis academy in Surrey. When he was younger, he used to dive for imaginary rugby balls in the supermarket - surprising, says Anne, as neither she nor her husband were sporty.

"It's all been quite exciting seeing them grow up and develop their own personalities," she says.

Anne, 52, The Northern Echo's new parenting columnist, knows more than most about the stages of parenthood, having gained a wealth of experience in childcare over 30 years. She initially trained and qualified as a nurse at the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle in 1973 before completing her midwifery training. She worked in a neonatal intensive care unit and went on to pursue a career in health visiting.

Anne later held a number of training roles, from teaching health studies in further education to training nursery nurses and putting together packages for early years workers.

She now runs her agency which recruits nannies for families across the North-East and North Yorkshire. And, of course, there are her own experiences, bringing up four children and watching them develop into successful young adults.

She understands, however, that parenting is not easy.

"Parenting is not something which comes naturally to most people," she says. "Most families who approach us haven't got a good support system because they've moved away from their families. You can feel isolated if you're a parent, especially if you're not working and you've had friends and a support system at work. If you've been a very confident person in your work, you're suddenly presented with a situation where you don't feel confident, which can be a shock. But in the end, the parents are the people who will know their own child the best."

There are also people out there who can offer practical and emotional support, such as the health visitor. "They have a lot of knowledge and can often put you in touch with other parents who are experiencing similar difficulties," says Anne.

One of the core elements in helping a child develop is routine, says Anne.

"It's important for the parent as much as the child," she says. "It shouldn't be rigid, but at least if you have some sort of routine for when the baby sleeps then you can have time for yourself. As far as behaviour goes, having some kind of basic rules are important and the child will feel more secure if there are these boundaries which exist.

"If you have inconsistency in what you do, the child can end up all over the place. This is when manipulation can come in. It may be that one parent is stricter than the other or often parents can feel guilty if they work long hours and they want to keep the child up to spend time with them."

Discipline is another area new parents may struggle with.

Anne says: "I think it's important to have discipline without smacking as I find it doesn't really work, and you end up feeling really guilty yourself.

"We work on rewarding positive behaviour as much as possible and trying to ignore or minimise negative behaviour. With young children you can often distract them from what they're doing. A lot of the time they start to play up when they're bored so it's about keeping them entertained as much as possible and having clear rules so they understand what is and isn't acceptable. At the same time you're not losing control - smacking doesn't really help in the long term."

But if you have tried to be the best parent you can, and there are still major problems with your child's behaviour, it could be time to call in the professionals.

"At some point the child has got to realise you're the adult," says Anne. "We've all been there, walking around the supermarket when the toddler throws a tantrum. The parent will feel mortified and will end up dragging them out of the shop or sticking a packet of sweets in their hands.

"But if there are children who are running riot, there are people who can help, such as child psychologists and behavioural therapists. It doesn't get any better in that situation if you just leave it because it can cause problems when the child goes to nursery or school."

And while there will always be the mothers who can't resist telling everyone about their drug-free births and how their babies sleep for hours at a time, Anne says it's important for parents to understand that they are never going to know everything all at once.

"A lot of parents have to accept that they are doing the best they can," she says. "Essentially there is no such thing as the perfect parent."

* Internannies: 0191-427 4511

www.internannies.co.uk