THE big match last weekend was not England v Northern Ireland, and certainly not Oxford v Cambridge, but Dr Who v Ant and Dec, and those of us old enough to feel like time travellers were delighted that the good doctor won.

I clearly remember when the Tardis first materialised in 1963, a year when Manchester United beat Leicester City in the FA Cup final, left-hander Bob Charles won the Open golf, the Boxing Day snow hung around for three months and Spennymoor folk were proud of their football club.

It was also the year when Beatlemania erupted and Colin Cowdrey went back in to bat with a broken arm at Lord's to save a Test against the West Indies with Wes Hall and Charlie Griffith in their pomp.

It's good to reminisce during a week of unmitigated sporting tedium, lowlighted by the Boat Race and the inexplicable Mourinho mania, which has forced sports pages throughout the land to be filled with news and views of the England football team's two less-than-riveting matches.

Between the two games our heroes were rewarded with three days of swanning around in five-star luxury at Slaley Hall. After giving their all for their country in beating Northern Ireland, how else could they have recovered from their exertions in time to face the might of Azerbaijan?

Personally, I'd have billeted them at Spennymoor or Evenwood and made them do some community work during their ample spare time in the hope that they might, however unwittingly, provide a little much-needed inspiration.

The depressing picture of Spennymoor's ground in Tuesday's Northern Echo, and the following day's story about vandals threatening the future of Evenwood FC, seemed somehow appropriate to a week in which the early Easter has been anything but the harbinger of spring.

How utterly dispiriting it must be for those who work hard in Evenwood to provide youngsters with alternatives to binge drinking and vandalism. They have succeeded in producing an excellent cricket team and could obviously have a football club to be proud of were it not for the morons whose only pleasure is in spoiling things for everyone else.

The daleks would have a way of dealing with them, but the worst they can expect in these enlightened times is to be served with an ASBO.

MEANWHILE I notice that two "pilot schemes" in our region have been deemed successful and are to go national.

Sport England have run a four-month pilot called Everyday Sport, while a two-week pilot in County Durham involved taking pupils to a swimming pool every day for a half-hour lesson.

There would be less inclination to be cynical about Everyday Sport were it not supported by quotes from the Sports Minister suggesting people should take the stairs instead of the lift. I seem to have heard that before, but can't quite work out what it has to do with sport.

Sport England's chief executive spoke of "delivering behaviour change", which is not a phrase guaranteed to touch a nerve with binge-drinking vandals, as the good folk of Evenwood would doubtless tell him.

But if a way can be found to convince the louts that in their current form they are no more than vermin, then there is plenty of evidence to suggest that sporting initiatives can be of huge benefit. For example, it's easy to scoff at grandiose plans for a huge velodrome in east London, to be built irrespective of whether the Olympic bid succeeds, but there can be no doubt that the Manchester Velodrome is helping to lift British cycling to new heights.

The Great Britain track cycling team are based there and followed their enormous success at the Athens Olympics by topping the medals table at the World Championships in Los Angeles at the weekend.

Hopefully it can be used to encourage youngsters that the bikes they pleaded for then left to rot at the first sign of a puncture are worthy of tender loving care and regular use.

IT'S also good to see Darlington FC encouraging youngsters to fill their newly-opened North stand by offering free admission, but the kids won't keep going if the team continue to get stage fright in their grand new home.

There have always been more than enough reasons to doubt the wisdom of building it, without the ultimate indictment of the players performing far better away from home. After last Saturday's debacle against Kidderminster, the Quakers need to win their remaining home games to build the fan base and generate some excitement by qualifying for the play-offs.

NEWCASTLE Falcons' home matches have generally been full of excitement this season. But in keeping with the week's gloom, Bath chose to bore their way to victory at Kingston Park last Sunday. At least the Falcons' fitness guru, Steve Black, can be relied upon to raise a laugh. Ahead of tomorrow's Heineken Cup quarter-final, he said: "We are in the mood to move mountains. Are there any mountains in Paris? Maybe not, but if you see the Eiffel Tower at the end of Northumberland Street on Sunday morning you'll know we've done something special.