"WHAT'S this programme called?" asked my wife, falling right into the trap of the creators. "Mind Your Own Business (BBC1, daytime all week)," was my reply, without arching as much as an eyebrow.

And what better way to watch Darlington-based multi-millionaire's Duncan Bannatyne's latest TV venture than while exercising in his gym.

"Now you'd better be careful what you say next because your daughter works for him," warned my fitness-fighting other half, before sending me to complain because the fitness centre's satellite TV sound system was on the blink.

With hand on wallet, I can definitely say Mr B's efforts to advice flagging small businesses is one of the better reality TV efforts.

In the BBC's recent Dragon's Den there seemed a shade of unfairness about wannabe entrepreneurs facing five mighty business moguls who breathed fire on every mistake.

This time, Mr B is accompanied by a series of other self-made millionaires as they attempt to assist small traders with big ideas, in a DIY SOS kind of way.

"Seeing Duncan Bannatyne dancing with a mannequin dressed in a bridal gown and talking about his children shows him in a whole new light," said Mrs Fit before whipping away to pump a little iron.

Earlier in the week, she'd amazed other members of the family by becoming hooked on Malice Aforethought (ITV1, Sunday-Monday) about the 1930s real-life killer Dr Edmund Bickleigh.

It wasn't the bumping off of irritating people that made the two younger ones leave the room, it was the sex scenes that are now de rigueur for any drama of consequence. Basic instincts here are that the youngest and his girlfriend don't sit down to watch rumpy-pumpy with mum in the same room.

Pointing this out to her after Ben Miller's Dr Bickleigh and Lucy Brown's Ivy Ridgeway had been doing a little more than studying his etchings in the summerhouse produced the response: "I thought you said this man was a comedian." As the deadly doctor disposed of one victim with typhoid-flavoured sandwiches, some of us were only too glad to make their own.

However, the "horrible man", as she put it, of the week turned out to be Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind (five, last night).

As Brown looks like How Not To Decorate's Justin Ryan and sounds like Angus Deayton, he is already an alarming personality. His new series opened with him being able to tell the exact contents of people's wallets with a mere look or touch.

Logic says that if these volunteers aren't stooges, then Brown has a small army of helpers ensuring he's genned up in advance.

Of course, he must cleverly fail at least once just to prove he's human after all.

Shaun Of The Dead film star Simon Pegg was convinced to say he wanted a BMX bike as a present rather than the leather jacket he'd "secretly" written down. It's fair to say Pegg was already aware of a bike-shaped box in the room and Brown effectively brow-beat the over-polite actor into changing his mind. None of this is likely to harm Brown's sell-out visits to York's Grand Opera House (May 14) and Sunderland's Empire (May 15).

Published: 16/04/2005