MENTION the phrase “green shoots” and the pessimism police attack quicker than you can say disestablishmentarianism.

Indeed, as Lord Turner, the chairman of the Financial Services Authority said, over the next three to six months, the response to the mention of green shoots is likely to be “..what an absurd thing to say..”

It is not remotely surprising though, as the UK was officially and firmly pronounced in recession on Friday.

I recall former Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont unconvincingly using the term green shoots in a speech.

Although mocked at the time, he was, with the advantage of hindsight, proved to be correct.

As he intimated at the time, it is a matter of confidence, and there is little in abundance at the moment. We can only anticipate the current Chancellor, at some later stage, attesting to the Darling buds of recovery.

It is easy to make predictions for when the recovery in the economy will start and, as usual, the prior recovery in the stock market, but to do so risks ridicule. Predictions could join a raft of gaffes that are now legendary.

Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, in 1943, said: “..I think there is a world market for maybe five computers..”

A Western Union internal memo of 1876, said “...this telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us...”

“...We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out...” Decca Recording Co, rejecting the Beatles in 1962.

“...While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially, it is an impossibility...” Inventor Lee DeForest.

“...Radio has no future.

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. Xrays will prove to be a hoax...” British scientist William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, in 1899.

“...Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy...” - workers whom Edwin L Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

“...It will be years – not in my time – before a woman will become Prime Minister.”

Margaret Thatcher in 1974.

And finally, shortly before the Wall Street Crash, Irving Fisher, professor of economics at Yale University in 1929 said: “...stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau...”

The gross domestic product figure last Friday was worse than forecast, and that only covers the last quarter of last year. This quarter, so far, looks to have got off to an even worse start. The fixes to the economy take time to be implemented and then further time to have effect.

As previously mentioned though, massively lower interest rates are now having an effect. The downside for many, though, is the lack of income return on deposits.

Government bonds have been some of the better investments over the past six months, typically having risen by nearly 16 per cent from trough to peak. This has been a bonus to the guaranteed income produced. Of late, however, some of the gloss has been wiped off as concerns over the Government’s finances have spread.

The Government could always stabilise the position somewhat by selling its gold reserves, at current high levels. Then again, it can’t, as they were sold years ago, at the bottom of the market, a gaffe as good as “...the end to boom and bust!”

*Anthony Platts is divisional director in the Teesside office of Brewin Dolphin, and can be contacted on 0845-213-1340. All prices quoted in the article are from public sources. The views expressed are not necessarily held throughout the Brewin Dolphin Group. You should bear in mind that no investment is suitable for all circumstances and it is important to seek expert advice if in any doubt.

Brewin Dolphin Limited is a member of the London Stock Exchange, authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority.