THE heartbroken mum of a young man who was killed by his controlling partner has spoken out in a bid to raise awareness of domestic abuse against men.

Simon Gilchrist was just 23 when he was fatally stabbed in 2004 by Caroline Mawhood, who had physically and emotionally abused him for most of their 18-month relationship.

Simon's mother Jose Linnane is now sharing her story to try to encourage family, friends and colleagues to be vigilant for signs of abuse, so that no one else has to lose their son as she had.

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She said the domestic abuse of males was all too often dismissed as men just being 'under the thumb.'

'My heart sank'

She said Mawhood, of Bell Farm in York and was jailed for life after being convicted of murder, had 'seemed like a nice girl' and Simon had 'really deeply loved her.'

But during the course of their relationship, Simon from York was seeing less and less of his friends and Jose noticed some marks on his face on one occasion and blood on the floor outside the couple's front door.

Jose said seeing the injuries to Simon's face 'made her heart sink'.

Another warning sign included Simon using his birthday money to buy Mawhood a football shirt instead of tools for himself as he originally intended.

Jose said: “I'd gone to see them one day and there was blood on the pavement in front of their door.

"I hadn’t given it much thought but putting it together with the marks on Simon’s face, him not spending his birthday money on himself, not being able to see his friends, not having any time to himself.

"I can see this now as all being controlling behaviour.

Jose added: “We saw less and less of Simon as time went on and there was something just not right about him, a spark was missing."

Jose said that she could now see that her son was a victim of controlling behaviour.

The night of his death

On the night of Simon's tragic death, Jose received a phone call from the police, saying Mawhood had attacked someone while on a night out and had then come home and fatally stabbed her son.

"He’d got out of the house and called his own ambulance from the phone box but it was too late and he died on the way to hospital," she said.

“I don’t want anyone else’s son, grandson, brother or friend to be taken the way that Simon’s life was taken.

"He didn’t speak out about it, but men don’t tend to and we don’t see it.

"We don’t think about a man being controlled or beaten by a woman.

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"Especially when Simon was well built and she was very slight in build. I know my Simon was a victim of domestic abuse.

“It's difficult to talk about domestic abuse whether you're a woman or a man because the person you’re talking about is someone that you still deeply love.

"Especially for a man, things tend to be joked about ‘Oh you’re under the thumb mate’ or ‘She’s got you where she wants you’.

What police have said

Inspector Clare Crossan, who leads for domestic abuse and stalking at North Yorkshire Police, said domestic abuse against men wasn’t often talked about but, whilst there were fewer reported incidents, this didn’t mean it wasn't happening.

“Men may not want to report it due to any stigma they feel or simply may not want to believe that they are victims," she said.

"And this is why it’s so important that family, friends and colleagues stay vigilant for any signs of abuse."

A spokesperson for the Independent Domestic Abuse Service said there is no stereotypical ‘victim’ of domestic abuse, but there are patterns of behaviour to be aware of that may help keep people safe from an abusive partner or relative.

Anyone with concerns about domestic abuse can contact IDAS's Live Chat facility on its website between 3pm – 6pm Monday – Friday or its helpline 03000 110 110.

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