My mum doesn't like pastels. Nor do I. In fact, I hate pastels. Wishy-washy. What a waste of time. So why, why, why are all the Mother's Day cards in the shops baby pink, pale blue, Easter chick yellow, sicky green and purple. I hate purple. So does Mum.

I'm neither tight nor a spendthrift, but short of forking out £3.75 for a hand-decorated card with a cut out flower pot, and some pointless piece of wire, all you're faced with on walking into Woolies, WHSmiths, or whatever, is a rainbow display of pastel cards that look like they have been left in the sun. The alternative is something with a poem. All wrong.

What are those card inventors thinking when they pen their great creations? Hmmm, perhaps 'poor old tired Mum, let's make her a nice non-threatening card that won't give her a headache'? Or perhaps 'poor old Mum, isn't she boring'?

Yeah, I don't know...perhaps the inventors are also sick of the greetings card jamboree... perhaps they too are now just as jaded as their faded, pallid creations.