What was your first car?

My first car was a used dark blue Rover 214Sli. I paid £451 after some pretty enjoyable haggling, hence the unusual purchase price. It sparked what I hope will be a lifelong love of walnut dash interiors on vehicles aimed pretty squarely at the family driver. I should point out that at that time I was a 20 something comedian.

How many times did it take to pass your test?

I took loads of goes to pass my test. I think four or five. Not a good sign that I lost count. I was learning in London and there was such demand for tests I'd just take them at any test centre. Hence I'd not know the area, I'd be nervous, plus London drivers, etc etc. I feel embarrassed I took so many goes because I know people will think I'm worse at driving than I truly am.

Who would be your ideal fantasy passenger and where would you go?

The Northern Echo:
My fantasy passenger would be very rested for if I get tired, and would ideally create no car mess, or head straight to the bin at a services stop. Car interior mess has bugbear of mine since I found Babybel wax on the upholstery last year. Then when I complained my wife gave the kids croissants! Croissants! The cluster bomb of car food.
 

What is your dream car?

The Northern Echo: Columbo actor Peter Falk is suffering from Alzheimer's

It has a big wagon wheel biscuit as a steering wheel. And Columbo and his dog are in the back seat talking on a phone made of a banana. Why? Because this is my dream car. Columbo is in most of my dreams.

How would you describe your driving style?

Surprisingly square. I got my motorbike licence just over a year ago and I'd say its biggest impact has been on my driving which has a newfound serenity. I love anticipation, using long light breaking and giving people clear indication of where I'm going and when. Told you I was square. But it is also great for arriving less stressed so it adds up to a better life when one is covering the miles a comedian on tour can cover.
 

Tell me one driving anecdote from your past?


I filled my car with petrol when it was diesel. I know there are readers who feel my pain. I think I still love the man who fixed it for me as much as I love my brothers. But we never stayed in touch.
 

What are you listening to?

The Northern Echo: Rock heroes Arctic Monkeys headline Reading
Oasis because the kids demand it. Arctic Monkeys, above, Augustines or Elbow if they accept any alternative. On a long solo drive I have been known to turn up dance music mixes from The Ministry Of Sound really loud and have a one man rave, whilst heading to an arts centre to tell jokes to other middle aged people. Time moves along eh?

What do you drive now?

The Northern Echo:

I have a large used people carrier due to a combination of family life and the seat being better for a back problem I had. I also ride an eight-year-old Suzuki V-Strom 1000, but not to gigs often. I'm still not attention-seeking enough to walk through a venue with a helmet and all the gear like I'm a supercool biker dude. One day.