PICTURE the scene. Mitsubishi has called a board meeting because it has managed to get its hands on some spy-shots of the new Subaru Impreza, the iconic car from its biggest rival.

The lights go down and the sense of nervousness heightens, after all, if they have pulled it off it could be bad news for sales of the new Evo X.

The switch is flicked and the first image hits the screen.

Surely the spy has snapped the wrong car? It can't be, can it?

The silence is deafening, but then there's a giggle, that breaks into a snigger and all of a sudden the whole room is rocking with laughter.

What were they thinking?

OK, so perhaps it didn't quite happen like that. But Mitsubishi could have been given for allowing itself a slight smile at Subaru's offering.

Admittedly, I can see the argument behind ditching the saloon for a hatchback - an attempt to pinch some sales from the likes of VW and Ford.

But turning out a car that looks like a throwback to the godawful days of the Hyundai Pony? C'mon.

Now, we here at The Northern Echo are yet to get our hands on the top-spec WRX version and so perhaps it's a little unfair to give a complete assessment until we have.

But as it is basically the same shape as the base car, albeit with an outrageous bonnet vent and a few other add-ons, it can probably be assumed that, unless there's a fantastic, fire-breathing unit beneath its bonnet, it is likely to be nothing more than a huge disappointment.

That said, it will still be better than the 1.5 variant I had, which feels like it is treading water in treacle when you depress the accelerator.

I'm sure it's not, but 0-60mph feels like it is achieved in days, rather than seconds.

There's no go in first or second, no added punch in third or fourth and it barely gets into fifth before it's panting like a two-packet-aday smoker in the dads' race at sports day.

On top of that it drinks juice quicker than George Best did on an afternoon out.

There is a throaty note to the engine in low gear that could be mistaken for sporting intention, but in reality is probably just the aforementioned smoker's cough.

The previous Impreza was no looker, but where it stood out from the crowd in the same way as does, say, Amy Winehouse, the new one is more like the chubby girl next door, and who can honestly say they stuck pictures of the chubby girl next door on their wall?

On the plus side, and believe me there are some positives in all of this, the steering is completely to my liking, responding quickly and effortlessly, allowing you to pitch it into corners and make the most of its four-wheel drive system.

However, though the suspension suppresses most bumps, the car is prone to bouncing down the road at times.

The interior is pleasing, the display being easy on the eye and uncluttered, with all the controls giving the impression at least that they won't come off in your hands in a few months' time.

The materials aren't exactly bespoke, but for the price what would you really expect?

The seats are comfortable enough and there's room aplenty for those of a bigger persuasion to travel unhindered in either the front or the back.

The boot isn't the best you'll come across, being quite shallow and having the wheel arches impinge upon the space you do have, but it can cope with a small pushchair and a couple of bags.

Rather than a proper parcel shelf it comes with a retractable cover, which I like but other people have said looks cheap.

Equipment levels are high compared with its rivals, with alloy wheels, electric mirrors, climate control, four electric windows, fog lamps and a CD player as standard.

In fact, all the basic ingredients are there, it's just Subaru has made a sow's ear out of what could, and should, have been a silk purse.

There must clearly have been some method to their madness when it came to designing the car, it's just that try as I might I can't quite see what it is.

SPECIFICATION

ENGINE: 1,498cc
MAX POWER: 106bhp
MAX TORQUE: 142Nm
MAX SPEED: 109mph
0-60MPH: 13.7 secs
AVERAGE FUEL CONSUMPTION: Urban 29.4mpg; extra urban 44.8; combined 37.7
EQUIPMENT: Alloys, four electric windows, climate control air conditioning; CD player, trip computer, fog lamps