HERE in Soapland we are all agog – many have never been so agog in their lives – waiting for the verdict in the Ryan Lamb, as in Lamb to the slaughter, murder case. Did he, the jury is being asked, murder his bigamist father and plank of wood, Mark Wylde?

As those who follow Emmerdale (ITV1) know all too well, Ryan is innocent (of murder, if not overacting) but has been framed by Natasha, who shot her sort-of-husband, Mark, and her son nasty, Nathan.

At least we get to see Nathan suffer just as those who’ve watched his acting have done. He’s been abducted by a mystery person and told that if the jury returns a guilty verdict then he’s getting the chop. Hallelujah.

What’s more, Nathan’s abductor is determined to torture him to get the truth out of him. It’s amazing the uses to which a pair of sheep shearing scissors can be put. Either that or electrodes attached to his... (enough of this sadism – Editor) In EastEnders (BBC1) Vanessa Gold has something to say and Max isn’t too pleased to hear it. Her husband chooses the day of Billie’s funeral to turn up with divorce papers and in return learns that he’s not the biological father of Jodie (the girl who prompted Darren to get circumcised).

When the Brannings’ front door is daubed with the word “slapper” the question isn’t who did it, but who’s it referring to. Everyone in the house – Walford even – fits the description.

In Emmerdale (ITV1) the Rhona, Paddy, Marlon triangle continues to fester like an untreated sore. The problem is Rhona who’s found herself torn betwen vet Paddy and chef Marlon.

Ending up between the sheets with Paddy – although they say nothing happened – has precipitated a crisis of conscience.

She’s going out with Marlon and woken up in bed with Paddy and tells him (Paddy not Marlon) that she can’t be with Marlon (not Paddy) because she’s in love with someone else.

But will Paddy (not Marlon), more used to dealing with sheep than women, twig that she means she’s in love with Paddy (not Marlon).