PLACE your bets - who will win the battle between the bookie and the landlord? The feud hots up as cocky bookmaker Dan Dan the Betting Man clashes with Rovers landlord, Steve McDonald and his amazing dancing eyebrows in Coronation Street (ITV1).

It's one of those storm in a teacup rows that escalates faster than opposition against Gordon Brown in the wake of a by-election. Dan casts the first stone by moaning that Streetcars cabs are parked outside the bookies. When one of the vehicles is scratched - accidentally by Norris - Steve is quick to put the blame on Dan.

When he refuses to pay for the damage, Steve takes drastic action and holds Dan's mobile hostage.

Tempers flare, the Rovers becomes the scene of yet another punch-up. A scuffle ensues, a mobile phone is hurled down the cellar steps and the person who goes to fetch it - Dan - finds himself locked in the cellar.

He can thank his lucky stars that landlady Liz isn't shut up with him.

Her man-eating reputation is legend and one sniff of eau de young man could turn her into the beast in the cellar.

As it is, she's tied up welcoming home husband Vernon from his working cruise. What she's trying to hide is the fact that she's been performing horizontal hokey-pokey with bookie Harry (Dan Dan the gambling man's dad, if you're interested).

While drummer Vernon has been playing with his own sticks, Liz has been enjoying herself with another man. Now she feels guilty. The trouble is her odd behaviour alerts Vernon that something is amiss.

In the old days Demonic David would have been a prime candidate to be the beast in the cellar. But he's a changed man. He gets out of jail - a young offenders' institution - and mum Gail the hamster and girlfriend Tina find he's come over all angelic.

Could his bad lad days be a thing of the past? Or perhaps he's just pretending while he plans even more horrid revenge on his loved ones.

A most unlikely Casanova is emerging in EastEnders (BBC1) by the name of Bradley Branning, a man more usually twinned with the words red-faced loser. Now women can't get enough of the estate agent. He's never been such a des-res.

Boss Maggie plants a kiss on his cheek, while hot-to-trot Clare Bates responds to his not-so-obvious charms. Or maybe she's sized him up after seeing him in just a towel after he was locked out of the house. His idea is to borrow the key to a penthouse he's trying to sell to juggle with keeping two women in the air at the same time.

He'd doing better than Foxy Chelsea Fox, who gets the sacked from Booty beauticians after being caught with her well-manicured hand in the till. Her response is to feed her coke habit.

There's a wedding in Emmerdale (ITV1) although, carelessly you may think, no one has thought to tell the bride. It's a surprise wedding, you see.

Organised by Eric Pollard for fiancee Val but done on the cheap by tying in the reception with the Pub of the Year celebrations. Little does Val know that she's organising her own wedding reception.

The baby swap drama continues with the Rev Ashley demanding that wife Laurel joins him in trying to take baby Arthur away from Greg and Mel. Arthur is really the Rev and Laurel's son, and the Rev wants him returned to his rightful owner.

Laurel's not so sure, she's still grieving for Daniel, the son she thought was hers.

Back at the wedding, the bride has been kidnapped and held to ransom.

And, oh yes, celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson has flown in by helicopter to taste Marlon's pub food.

If he's not careful he'll find himself catering Eric and Val's wedding reception as well.