WELL, that was a lot of fuss about a boring character.

When Vera Duckworth died, she was featured in the Guardian, the Daily Mail, the Sun, the Scotsman, the Irish Independent, and, of course, The Northern Echo. Her "obituary"

featured on the BBC and Channel Four news. When proper characters died, like Fred Elliot, they barely got a mention in The Weatherfield Gazette.

I'm sure Vera was entertaining, once. Just not in the past 15 years.

Recently, watching poor Liz Dawn in Coronation Street (ITV1), wheezing with emphysema, was painful. She'd sit down, gasp a lifeless line, and peer upwards as Jack, Molly and Tyrone overacted round her. The directors probably wanted Vera dead in a bus crash, or pecked to death by angry pigeons, or something. Liz, though, died where she'd spent the past three years. In her armchair.

Bill Tarmey, who plays Jack Duckworth, is now free, like a pigeon with no coop. Hopefully he'll fly from The Old Rectory's front room, and find something missing from his life: a storyline.

This week, Jack says goodbye to Vera with a speech at her funeral. Big Bad Nigel Pivaro - aka Terry Duckworth - makes his bi-annual appearance, and tried to convince Jack to keep the house. Jack sees through it and tells Paul, Tyrone, and Molly - the Unstoppable Slimming Machine - that they're his family now.

Liam - thick as two short planks, but not as sturdy - comes home early from his business trip with Carla. If I were him, I'd shack up with her. All right, she might be the wife of his dead brother, but come on. The alternative is Maria. She's pretty, and all that, but has the accent, and intelligence, of a sleepy teenage boy.

Paul was a wrong un, Liam - you owe him nowt. As Kevin is released from prison, Rosie decides she's going back to work at the factory. Odds on who she'll crack on with next: Liam 2/1; Jason 4/1; Jim McDonald 20/1. He can't chase Liz forever.

In Eastenders (BBC1), auld Dot records an emotional message for Jim, who's due out of hospital. But will he come back to Walford? She meanders down memory lane, fags and all - until an old friend's arrival lifts her mood.

It's war at The Vic, with Ronnie and Roxy arguing over Ronnie's relationship with Jack. While Roxy ponders revealing all about seeing Jack and ex-wife Selina, she receives a shocking proposal. Hazel doesn't want Heather as bridesmaid anymore, then faints when Shirley lays into her. However, a trip to the doctor reveals unexpected news.

Elsewhere, Shabnam wants to go travelling, and Minty discovers he's going to be a dad.

In Emmerdale (ITV1), Sam finds out Zak and Lisa are considering applying for temporary custody of Samson. At which point he does a runner. They even do a television appeal to get him back. Elsewhere, Grayson and Katie grow closer, and kiss - before he admits Perdy is blackmailing him.

Finally, in Erinsborough and the land of Neighbours (BBC1 for just a little longer) Bridget pleads to be discharged from hospital. She embraces physio lessons, but her determination causes problems - until Declan saves the day. Karl tried to persuade Miranda to help him keep Susan out of jail, and Pepper helps Ringo with his eating disorder. Oliver is consumed with jealousy when he thinks Elle's interested in Riley - sparking a good old-fashioned Ramsay Street brawl.