THERE'S a dearth of good restaurants in Soapland. Apart from Betty's famous hotpot in the Rovers, the chances of going out for a good meal are few and far between.

Egon Ronay and those Michelin chaps would do better round some greasy café than picking up a knife and fork in Soapland.

So we much applaud Leanne Battersby for her ambition in opening a new eatery in Weatherfield, where pie and peas are considered the finest delicacy man can eat.

Calling your restaurant Valandro's and hanging a string of onions on the wall hardly adds up to offering Continental cuisine. But Leanne knows her business. Unfortunately, the oldest profession and service with a smile is fine in her previous occupation - as an escort girl - but running a restaurant requires more than serving breakfast (and other things) in bed.

So perhaps we shouldn't be surprised in Coronation Street (ITV1) that her restaurant project is struggling to find its feet. She can't manage her staff, leading to a mass walkout. Foolishly, she tells the head chef and waiter to leave if they don't like her way of doing things. So they walk out.

Serves her right for not being nice to her staff. But it leaves her in a pickle, causing her to recruit loud-mouthed Janice, who's no Delia Smith, to help her out in the kitchen.

Squeaky-voiced Ashley Peacock needs a woman about the house too after wife Claire does a bunk. She goes off to stay with her mother, which, as we all know, is a euphemism for trial separation.

Ashley is left holding the baby at little Freddie's first birthday bash until Casey, the former friend blamed by Claire for burning down the family home, turns up and takes charge. Soon she'll be performing all marital services for Ashley.

Round at knicker factory Underworld, bosses Carla and Liam are at loggerheads. First, Carla sacks Joanne. Then, Liam reinstates her. Then Carla fires her again for being cheeky. Their way of running a business is as hopeless as Leanne trying to run a restaurant.

Psycho Stella walks down the aisle to marry Fill the Fug in EastEnders (BBC1) - only to jilt herself at the wedding and flee from the church in the face of revelations from Fill the Fug's son, Bovered Ben.

Stella has been subjecting him to psychological and physical torture by hiding the last piece of his jigsaw and making him eat turkey twizzlers. When he tells his dad what's been going on - just as the couple are about to say "We do" - Stella does the sensible thing and runs.

She knows that Fill the Fug will want to make her pay for being nasty to Ben and it won't involve a bundle of five pound notes, more a bunch of fives.

But Stella really should know better than to go up on the roof in her wedding dress. I mean, one trip and she could go sailing over the edge and splatter on the ground below. And that would be guaranteed to ruin the wedding.

Another couple, Jamie and Louise, go public in Emmerdale (ITV1). They don't join the group that specialises in having sex in public places but do start snogging in the Woolpack, which some may find more offensive that smoking in public. Louise is worried what people will think about her dating a younger man, although surely they'll realise that as she's already slept with the village's older men she has nowhere else to go.

Romantic woes, too, for the Woolpack's Diane, who's contemplating straying from her husband, Flat Cap Jack, in the direction of former jailbird Billy Hopwood. This isn't a good idea. Not only is he the arch-enemy of Flat Cap Jack but is also going out with Diane's sister, Geordie Val.