NEVER mind about Annie getting her gun, someone in Albert Square is armed and dangerous on the wedding day of Fill the Fug and Sharon in EastEnders (BBC1). Let’s hope the headline Wedding Day Massacre is an exaggeration, although bride and gloom are never far away when Shazza and Fill are around.

They’re both playing a dangerous game, each unaware that the other knows what they know and who knows when they’ll spill the beans. Sharon has no idea that Fill has cottoned on her plot to steal all his money.

Fill has no idea that ex-love Surely Shirley is gunning for him – in the nicest possible way, because she wants to expose his bride’s devious plan. For surely Surely Shirley is still in love with Fill and his uncouth manners.

There’s a fourth person in this marriage – Ian Beale, of all people. He’s had his fill of Fill before and rushes back to the Square to persuade Shazza not to marry back into the Mitchell family. But she’s convinced (the fool!) Fill has turned over a new leaf. Surely Shirley doesn’t think so because she arrives at the register office to tell the bridegroom all about Sharon’s secrets and lies.

So do Fill and Shazza say “I do”? Who knows? What’s certain is that a showdown with Surely Shirley is surely on the cards.

Sure enough, the threesome exchange not vows, but angry words. A gun is produced.

A bullet is fired. Someone is left fighting for their life (again).

The older Walford folk aren’t alone in having troubled love lives. Young love is suffering trials and tribulations too.

Branning girls Lauren and Abi are at the centre of the heartache. Lauren dumps Dean, causing him to show his terrible temper.

She really wants Peter but he, fed up with waiting for her to respond, has packed his bags and is heading for New Zealand. Can a snog with Lauren convince him to stay? Abi is trying to stop boyfriend Jay staying in the Square. She’s off to university in Bolton and wants him to go with her. But Jay’s rather smitten with Lola, so wants to stay put.

The consequences of romantic relationships are brought home to Jimmy and Nicola in Emmerdale (ITV1) when a woman turns up on the doorstep and insists that Jimmy has got her pregnant even though they’ve never met. It turns out Juliette is carrying his child after a mix-up at the sperm donation centre. Whoops!

Elsewhere in the Dales, Priya is having second thoughts about her arranged marriage. It’s her own fault – she’s the one who arranged it. Fiance Rakesh is handsome and loaded. She plans to give him a taste of what he can expect in the marital bed and it’s not a lumpy mattress. He, however, wants to put wed before bed.

Window cleaner Tim’s secret is revealed through a saucy leaflet in Coronation Street (ITV1). The flyers advertising his business read Dirty Widows. Satisfaction Guaranteed. When Sally takes a call from someone interested in being rubbed down with a damp shammy she wonders exactly what services he’s offering.

Julie would certainly like to get down and dirty with Dev. She’s looking for a man and has set her sights on Dev. But she’s reckoned without his children’s nanny Mary Mary Quite Contrary.

She wants to protect Dev, seeing Julie as an unwelcome distraction. Julie had better watch out. Remember how Mary kidnapped Norris to get her own way.