SIX years after his wife Judy died in his arms, Martin Griffiths still finds great comfort in the "extended family" he has found at the hospice where she finally lost her fight against cancer.

"It just makes me feel closer to her," he told me as we stood beside each other, waiting to be introduced to the Countess of Wessex, last Thursday.

The Northern Echo: (12526030)
Judy Griffiths before the cancer struck

Martin and I share the honour of being Butterwick Hospice ambassadors but, until Thursday's Royal visit by Her Royal Highness, we had never met. His story will, however, live with me for a long time...

Judy was overjoyed when she found out she was having a baby in 2008, but that elation turned to devastation when she was diagnosed with bowel cancer 21 weeks into her pregnancy.

Doctors initially took the view that she would have to terminate the pregnancy because the baby was unlikely to survive the chemotherapy should would have to endure. But termination was never an option. A plan was formulated of a type of chemotherapy which would not harm the baby and, somehow, she managed to cope with the cancer treatment and carry her baby until the target date of 32 weeks. Baby Samuel was born by caesarian section, weighing just 3lbs 15ozs.

Further chemotherapy and radiotherapy followed and there was briefly hope when the tumour appeared to be getting smaller but a scan early in 2009 showed that the disease had spread to her liver. She died on April 4, the day after her 35th birthday.

"It was all utterly devastating but the care and support given to Judy, myself and Samuel by the hospice made the journey bearable. It gave us privacy and quality time together and I'll never forget it.

"From the moment she died in my arms, to her being laid to rest in a private room, looking gorgeous, there was support and counselling. It was about how we were made to feel and the sense we had of being close to Judy."

There were little things that meant so much, like a plaster-cast being made of Martin and Judy's hands clasped together, which is kept as a treasured memento, along with another cast of Samuel's tiny foot.

As she lay dying in the Stockton hospice, Martin promised Judy that their son would always know who his Mammy was. "We talk about her all the time," said Martin.

Samuel is now a happy, sports-mad six-year-old and, when he was in reception class, he came home with a picture he'd drawn of his family. "It had me and him together with his Mammy as an angel," said Martin, smiling at the memory and shedding a tear at the same time.

Martin, who lives in Billingham, fits in being a hospice ambassador around working full-time as a sales executive and raising his son. With the help of family and friends, he has raised nearly £50,000 for the Butterwick by running marathons and organising events.

"Judy's life is continuing through Samuel," said Martin. "And, by trying to make a difference for the hospice, it keeps the connection between us."

His volunteer work as an ambassador also sees him speaking in public – telling his tragic but uplifting story. "I do it in the hope that it raises the hospice's profile and inspires others to make a difference," he explained.

I, for one, came away thinking about what more I could do to help the Butterwick Hospice.