“HOW’S my baby boy? It’s his birthday soon,” said my aunt, who is now in a home, in her 80s and suffering with Alzheimer’s.

My Auntie Thelma’s mind comes and goes, but for most of the time she has gone back to her 20s and she can still recall all the wonderful memories of that time. I go to visit her quite often and I love to hear her anecdotes.

One day, she kept asking me how her baby boy was. “Do you mean Stephen?” I asked, as she only has a son and daughter, now in their 50s. “No,” she insisted, “my other baby boy.”

At the time I dismissed it and assumed she was confused, but something made me mention it to my father, her brother, when I saw him next. “Yes, that’s right, she did have a son, before she was married,” he said.

I felt a strange mixture of elation and confusion.

How, at the age of 45, did I not know about this? I had always thought my family was “normal”, boring even, certainly not one with skeletons in the cupboard.

My dad told me how, when his sister fell pregnant at 19, their father was so upset he confined himself to bed for a week in shock.

They lived in a small village and their family was well regarded. He told his daughter she must go and visit her grandparents, who lived in the Durham area more than 200 miles away, to have the baby and then give it up for adoption. As far as I know, there was no other option for her.

MY other aunt – Thelma’s younger sister – didn’t know anything about this until a week ago, so it has come as an enormous surprise to us all.

She recalls when she was a little girl she had gone into her big sister’s bedroom and had pried into her diary only to read something which puzzled her. ‘I wonder how baby is?’, it read.She didn’t understand what it meant until now.

I have tried to comprehend what it must have been like, but I don’t think I am even close. So baby Christopher - Christopher Bodily - was born on May 16, 1953.

Tomorrow he will turn 61 and I would love to say happy birthday to my cousin, who I knew nothing about until a few weeks ago.

The truth is he probably doesn’t even know he is adopted and I am fairly sure that both of his original names on his birth certificate will have been changed. So if you are turning 61 tomorrow, I would love to hear from you, or maybe you know someone who is.

Please get in touch.

One thing that really struck me about all of this was that for years my aunt and godmother had kept this news secret. Only now, when she has Alzheimer’s, does she reveal it. It is as if the suppress button has been switched off.

After my aunt told me about her baby boy and my father confirmed it, I contacted an adoption agency in Durham. DFW Adoption was incredibly helpful and listened to my story. When I finally paused and drew breath, they told me they have tens of thousands of records, but that they would look for him and call me back.

True to their word, they did and I have to say it was one of the most exciting times of my life. Yes, he did exist, it wasn’t just a made-up story. They told me they did find adoptive parents for him and they had his adoption details in front of them. I was so excited I felt that my chest was going to explode. Unfortunately, that was about all they could tell me as, quite rightly, only the adopted person can search for their family if they choose to.

Baby Christopher was born in Hardwick Hall, which in the 1950s was a maternity home. DFW Adoption tells me it was likely my aunt would have stayed there for six weeks before the birth and at least the same following it.

How heartbreaking this must have been, knowing that you would have to leave there without your child.

So now I am left wondering what to do.

There is a relative of mine somewhere out there going about his life. My cousin has a half-brother, which he doesn’t yet know about. Do I tell him?

I have four young children and I understand the sheer force of love you have for your children. I would be devastated if I was told to give one of my children up for adoption and, of course, I would never ever forget him.

Alzheimer’s or not, my auntie has never forgotten her baby. It must have been terrible for her to give her child up and then to carry on with her life as though it had never happened.

My auntie went on to marry and have two more children and had a happy life. My wish is that her little baby boy has had a good life too.

I feel so sad that my auntie fell pregnant out of wedlock during a time that made it so taboo. And I feel sad for her that all this time she has kept it a secret.

Mothers never ever forget their children and carry them with them always.

  • Ali Evans, who lives in rural Northamptonshire, was a radio and TV producer before giving up work to raise her four boys. ali@houseofevans.com

Ali Evans:

“There is a relative of mine somewhere out there going about his life. My cousin has a half-brother, which he doesn’t yet know about. Do I tell him?”