POLICE have been called into the conference centre here in Brighton to investigate rumours of a mysterious death – that of the Labour Party.

Detectives were first alerted to the possible demise of the once-thriving institution when Chancellor Alistair Darling warned it had “lost the will to live”.

But the alarm bells really started to ring when Gordon Brown strode onto the conference platform on Sunday – to be confronted by row after row of empty seats.

Ministers are desperately trying to breathe new life into the apparent corpse, but the pulse is weak and survival is in serious doubt beyond seven months – election day next year.

Seriously, the numbers attending Labour’s annual seaside shindig get fewer every year, but it is truly shocking to see how few have bothered to make the trip this crucial September.

One rumour is that only 100 of the 600-plus Constituency Labour Parties have bothered to send a delegate to their last conference before polling day.

The party’s MPs are scarcely more enthusiastic. Officials told one questioner that 220 MPs were expected to attend – but that leaves more than 100 with their feet up somewhere else.

And, for the first time, there were more Lib Dem delegates listening to their leader Nick Clegg on opening day last week, in Bournemouth, than turned up for the Prime Minister last Sunday.

Of course, every seat in the hall was taken on Tuesday, when Mr Brown was cheered to the rafters, but that happy picture was in stark contrast to the rest of the conference.

I shudder to think how few will still be around today to “raise the scarlet standard high”, when the singing of The Red Flag brings down the curtain.

With membership down to around 150,000 - from 400,000, at the height of Tony Blair’s popularity – truly this is a party hollowed out, deserted and disappearing before our eyes.

Over the last few years, hundreds and hundreds of Labour councillors have been slain. They were the activists – the lifeblood of every party – and their loss is palpable.

In reality, I am not among those who think the Labour Party could die out – there are, still, too many people dedicated to it – but it is sickly and shrunken.

The real fear must be that a heavy general election defeat next year could shrink it further, as more footsoldiers decide the slog of a decade in opposition is too painful to contemplate.

Then what will happen if Labour comes to back to the Sage Gateshead for a future conference? The surviving few might rattle around like Darlington football fans at their near-empty arena.

ON Sunday, doom-monger Darling also condemned Labour for being like a gutless football team, throwing in the towel before the final whistle – and that was before the annual MPs vs Hacks grudge match.

Sure enough, the final score was 5-1 to the journalists, despite your correspondent failing to trouble the goalkeeper with no fewer than three shots.

FINALLY, there were calls for an inquiry at the annual Northern Night, when thirsty MPs and delegates were horrified to be offered......London Pride beer!

Sedgefield’s Phil Wilson refused to touch the stuff. Clutching a Coke, he said: “I might be turned into a pillar of salt.”