I WASN'T upset by the letter published in The Northern Echo from a reader castigating me for letting our 14-year-old babysit his four younger brothers.

Well, not too much.

The fact is he, or she (they didnt reveal their name) did make a valid point. The issue of how and when we decide to give our children increased responsibilities and freedom is one that parents grapple with on a daily basis.

And there are no easy answers.Its not just a matter of when we let them babysit. When do we let them go out on their bikes on the road on their own? When do we let them go into town on the bus with their friends on a Saturday or do an early morning paper round?

One moment, he's a toddler, surrounded by the protective paraphernalia of everything from walking reins, safety gates, bed guards, socket covers and toilet seat locks, and youre shadowing his every move. Then, before youve had the chance to put his high chair in the attic, he's turned into a tall, strapping lad, towering above you, asking if he can go camping in the woods with his friends overnight and cook his own tea.

I may have written a light-hearted, slightly flippant column about our oldest son babysitting his younger brothers. But the decision to leave him in charge was not one we made lightly.

On that particular night we were at a friends house, just along the road, less than five minutes away and on the end of a mobile phone. We wouldnt feel comfortable venturing much further.

It is worth mentioning that our 14-year-old is closer to 15 years and his youngest brother will be four in 12 weeks.

Although this is hardly the point.

It is dangerous to generalise about childrens capabilities at particular ages. They are all different. Some 18-year-olds may not be as mature and responsible as some 15-year-olds.

Most parents make such decisions when it feels right. It's intuitive. But that doesnt make it easy. Few activities are totally safe. Every time we take our children out in the car, or let them play rugby or climb a tree we have to accept inherent risks, even if we do all we can to reduce them.

When our older boys wanted to go out on their own on their bikes, we insisted they passed their cycling proficiency test. My husband went out several times with each of them, before judging when they were safe enough to go on it alone. Still, every time they go off on their bikes, I can't relax until they come home safely. Yet we let them go.I remember my generation being given much greater freedom, and having much less parental interference than children today.

A few friends recall coming home from school aged 11 to make their own tea while their mothers were at work. All of us remember wandering the streets, woods and fields around us unsupervised from quite a young age in the holidays. We would have been physically safer staying indoors watching TV or playing computer games all day. But what a sad life that would have been.

I recall my older sister babysitting for me and her three other younger siblings at about the same age as my son William is now. She made us Mars Bar sandwiches and let us stay up late to watch a Hitchcock film on TV.

We adored her for it, just as Williams youngest brothers now look up to and adore him.

We will continue to trust him to babysit occasionally, because it feels right.

Although that doesnt mean we have no anxieties. I am reminded of when we were on holiday in Tunisia last month, and put armbands on our youngest son Albert every day. Once we forgot the armbands and, while I walked back to our room to get them, Albert got into the water with his dad. By the time I returned, he was swimming on his own.By using arm bands, we thought we were protecting him and keeping him safe. But we were actually holding him back. That was a valuable lesson in parenting for both of us from a three-year-old.

A FRIENDS eight-year-old son, Henry Cooper, agreed with his older sister when she said she didn't like New Labour. " I'm fed up with them too, he said. And when Im older, Im going to vote for the conservatories."

I NOTICED a hand-written note, in large, capital letters, taped on to a basket of knitting needles last week in our local Help the Aged shop: "Knitting needles are strictly to be sold to over-18s only." Have young teenagers been getting up to no good with knitting needles, or is there an over-zealous health and safety officer at work?